We’ve all seen men calling hot girls “mid” online. These same men will say that women “hit the wall” in their 20’s, which is odd given that women tend to physically peak in their 30’s. This compulsion to take women down a peg comes from a deep fear of rejection.
All women have what I call a Love Battery. When her Love Battery is low, she becomes miserable, aggressive and often destructive. When her Love Battery is fully charged, the best version of herself feels safe to come out. She will become more feminine, graceful, and sensual. She will return that love to you in magnitudes because she feels like she’s all yours.
That being said — not all women like their Love Batteries charged the same way or by just any man. There’s something to the concept of “love languages”, but I’m generally not a fan of relationships-by-numbers systems. However, one thing is universal — no woman likes a simp.
From Do You Want Total Fuck:
The simp is a powerful meme because simps are very real. They exist by the millions. The simp has no backbone, no constitution, no dick. He is a slave to women. The simp isn’t just a slave to one woman in particular; the simp is a slave to the possibility of feeling a woman’s warmth. The simp likely had a neglectful mother. The simp is yearning for the warmth he never received. The simp will burn any ounce of dignity he has in exchange for a crumb of female attention. The simp pays for OnlyFans. The simp will reply on women’s posts, compliment her publicly online, and himself. The simp will agree with anything a woman says because he’s just happy that a woman is begrudgingly acknowledging his existence. The simp will let a woman ruin his life, because he‘s petrified that he may never come into contact with a crumb of pussy ever again. For at last, through a long history of debasing himself, the simp finally felt the warmth of a woman, and there is no bottom to what he will do to possibly feel that again.
Simping is repulsive to her and anyone who sees it. Many men know this and would rather die before simping. But some men take it to the extreme and never let themselves even compliment a woman, let alone express genuine desire for her.
This avoidance makes sense. The feeling of sexual desire and romantic desire aren’t completely distinct and often overlap. The former is raw, demonic, and ruthless and the latter is soft, loving, and gentle. The soft feelings of romantic desire are often mistaken for simping, so men will run away from expressing these feelings entirely. If you’re not sure, then it’s better to lean on the side of caution and hold yourself back.
Extremes are easy. Having a binary view of the world, and yourself, is easy. Do this or that. I’m either this guy or that guy. On one extreme, you’re simping and debasing yourself. On the other, you’re being sexually and emotionally neglectful and even worse, you’re oppressing your most authentic self. The more difficult path is finding the middle ground, which is why so many men don’t do it.
Yes, “negging” girls can certainly work. It works particularly well on hot girls who are simped for on a regular basis. It works because negging stands out amongst a crowd of simps. “Most men grovel to their knees around me, but you’re making fun of me. That’s hot.” This is inherently attractive because the man is placing himself above her and is signaling thatshe can’t get the best of him, unlike most men who she could into as slaves if she wanted to. But this attraction is temporary. She might even bang you! But she’ll never be wrapped around your finger. Women want nothing more than to feel genuinely desired by a man she respects, and that’s the only time her Love Battery is fully charged.
In this post I’m going to discuss this tightrope that most men aren’t willing to walk in order to express genuine desire without simping.
Being able to walk this tightrope only comes from understanding the forces inside of you. Men only come to know themselves through experience. Pursue enough women and you’ll start to understand what it is you do and don’t like about girls. What your “type” is. Which girls you become absolutely weak for and which ones you’d crawl over a bed of nails to not end up with. Which girls turn you on so much that you can’t even think and which girls are “attractive enough” to you. You can’t learn these things by sitting at home and DM’ing as many girls as possible. You won’t know how you’ll truly feel about a girl until you’re talking to her in real life. Yes, it all comes down to vibes.
Men are also most likely to simp in their first relationship, or the first girl they fall in love with.
From Your Oneitis Is Stinking Up The Room:
First Love is often very intense. Some men say “there is never anything like it ever again,” and there’s something to that. The innocence and carelessness of your first relationship cannot be replicated. You let yourself fall as hard as possible because you didn’t know what the bottom looked like yet.
It usually takes a man getting bruised up by one or several relationships in order to understand and manage these forces. And I’ll be honest, not all men are equipped with the honesty and self-awareness required to tell the difference. There’s some guys who fall hard for any girl who enters his life and ends up in the same relationship dynamic over and over again. Relationships always end terribly for him because women don’t respect him.
A boy becomes a man only after he’s had his heart shattered by a woman he loves then manages to pick up the pieces. Only then can he become fearless. He learned through experience that if worst comes to worst — heartbreak won’t kill him.
So what exactly does this tightrope look like? It means telling a girl very directly how you feel about her, or what it is about her that you’re sexually attracted to, while knowing that if she rejects you, you’ll be completely fine. It requires taking a risk. It also requires you to not say things just to say them and to say what you actually think and feel in the least cringe, most direct, and yes — smoothest way possible. It’s the path most avoided because there’s a lot at stake. You could fuck up and be rejected, and no one wants that. Entering into the unknown and embracing vulnerability is the risk you’re taking and which is why so few take it.
Of course most men take the more extreme paths. Simping guarantees you won’t be taken seriously (there’s a bit of a humiliation fetish involved here) and having a Neg-Only policy guarantees you’ll never simp. Of course the middle ground is avoided.
Expressing sexual desire is wiser than expressing romantic desire. In the early stages, a woman will respond better if you tell her you want her than if you tell her you love her. If you drop the L bomb before being certain the feeling is mutual — you will scare her off.
I will also say — do not lead with this. I’ll give you an example of what this middle road looks like:
You’re on a very good first date. The girl is clearly very into you. You’re flirting, there’s affection, there’s laughing, and there’s touching. While your hand is on her — look her in the eye and tell her how sexy she looks. I guarantee she will respond to this very well. You’ll probably start making out soon.
You’re a few weeks into a budding relationship. You’re out and you’re having fun together. The mood is light and the emotions are high. Love is in the air. That’s a good time to tell her “I can’t stop thinking about you lately.” If the feeling is mutual, she will say the same, and now you’re building a foundation.
These are examples of expressing genuine desire without simping and without negging. You’re not lowering yourself to be her slave, you’re not coming on too strong, and you’re not negging her to avoid this situation entirely. It requires feeling out the situation, understanding timing, and having the balls to put yourself out there.
Expressing genuine desire is a bold move. Emotional and sexual fortune only favors the bold.
I really appreciate how positive you are about what’s possible if you believe in yourself enough to let yourself fail and learn. More men need to read this. As you’ve stated the advice being given to men is fucking terrible and is making things far worse for them. The world is here for the taking, there is no scarcity whatsoever for the man who believes in himself.
what if the setting is not a date? if it is someone in your class for example. How is desire best expressed you think?