Listening Is The Most Potent Aphrodisiac

Being judgmental will kill your dating life.

If there’s a #1 rule while dating, it’s this: Listen.

Listening doesn’t mean tuning someone out until it’s your turn to speak. Listening doesn’t mean hearing someone speak while morally evaluating their words. Listening doesn’t mean having no input at all.

Listening means pausing your frame of reference and immersing yourself in theirs. Paying attention. Being curious. Understanding how they operate. This is called getting to know someone. Getting to know someone sparks intimacy. Intimacy sparks the potential for trust. Trust is the foundation of potent and sustainable attraction.

Listening requires participation. Staring at someone while they speak, blindly nodding your head in agreement, and never having anything to say in return, isn’t listening. That’s called being a pushover.

Listening, making sure you understand, evaluating, then giving an honest response without being judgmental or forceful, communicates authenticity. When people can feel you’re actually interested in their perspective, they will want to talk more. If they believe you understand and aren’t judging them, they will tell you anything. This is the basis for good conversation, and not being boring.