Advice for Women

Women have no idea what men want.

The Divorce Rate in America hasn’t changed very much. The stats we all know are still about the same: 50% of marriages end in divorce and that number goes up the more often people get married after that. The answer to why the likelihood of getting divorced increases with each marriage is fairly obvious: you picked the same person or you haven’t fixed yourself. Not super interesting.

But the question of why the Divorce Rate is so high rarely has good answers. The answer is relatively twofold: 1) Most men are gay now. Men have become weaker over time and women resent that. 2) Women have no fucking idea what men want because most of them have been mindkilled by feminism.

I’ve talked about answer #1 pretty in depth in The Dark Path to Increasing the Birth Rate but today I will talk about answer #2.

This essay is written for women. Hello, sweetheart.

Let me make something very clear to you, and I am not trying to be mean. This is something all men universally agree on. A bit of a window into what guys talk about when no women are around. We think all women are a pain in the ass. Every single one of you. The girl we once thought was ‘the one’, who we thought was perfect, actually gets her period once a month and is an insufferable pain in the ass. You turn into a demon when you’re hungry. You bitch at us about things we don’t care about. And that’s fine, it is what it is. Nothing either of us can do about that. But this is something all men know and most will admit, at least to themselves, and definitely to their friends.

The Amish have it right — they make their women live in an outhouse during their period. And what’s the Divorce Rate like in the Amishworld? I don’t care enough to look it up, but I can guarantee you it’s lower than the Divorce Rate in societies where women are being told “Yass Queen” on an ongoing basis simply for existing. Anyway, moving on babe.

Now I am going to tell you something you don’t want to hear, but I am going to tell it to you anyway. Your man wants to fuck other women. There’s nothing you can do about that, and it’s important that you know that it isn’t personal. You know how when you want to fuck another man because you think your man is too soft and you fantasize about someone manlier? Or that ex-boyfriend who fucked you better than anyone else has? Well, you see. It’s a bit personal when you want to fuck other men. It’s directly related to the insufficiency of the man you are currently with. With men, it isn’t personal. Not at all. We are designed to want to spread our DNA across the entire Earth. Every man has Ghengis Khan built into his cells and we struggle with it every single day because it is frowned upon to impregnate multiple women at once.

Well, that sucks, doesn’t it? Yeah, I get it. You want your man to think you are the apple of his eye. And you very well may be! He may fantasize about you all the time. He may genuinely want to fuck you very often, as much as he can. But I am telling you this right now: when he sees a hotter, younger, girl with a tighter body than yours, he wants to fuck her. Or even if he sees a giant pair of young, perky tits. And this desire has absolutely nothing to do with you. We’re just built that way. Sorry, I know it sucks.

But there’s a way to keep him interested. Not bored. Not looking around. Not 100% of the time anyway. He’s still going to look around, but you want to keep him at the edge of his seat. You want him wondering what’s going to happen next. Humans, both men and women, love spontaneity. But we like different types of spontaneity. You would love to wake up and have your bags packed for you and for your man to say “Cancel your plans. We’re going to Paris. Just us.” Very romantic, right? That’s the kind of spontaneity you crave. Men, on the other hand, we crave a different type of spontaneity.

What kind? Well, it’s going to sound a little low-class. Maybe don’t talk about it in a polite environment. But your man wants you to spontaneously blow him at 2pm on a Tuesday when he isn’t expecting it. Just because you want to. You don’t have to tell him why. You just have to do it.

Your man will be living his life wondering — “Fuck, is today the day? Am I going to get a random blowjob today?” You do that every now and then — I recommend at least once a week, and I can guarantee you that your man is going to stick around. That’s the secret. That’s it. We’re not that complicated.

Now with that, being in a relationship where men aren’t allowed to fuck other women, has a cost. And the cost is that your man wonders if he’s “still got it.” If he can still attract other women. If other women, other than you (assuming you do), want to fuck him. That means he wants to hear that he does things that you think are hot. This doesn’t mean that you need to be worshipping the ground he walks on. But it does mean that you need to say something that you like about him, now and then. Your man wants to feel like you would still want to fuck him even if you weren’t with him. And you do that by telling him things about him that you think are hot. Even if there isn’t anything he does that you think is hot, make it up. Find something small. You love when he cooks for you. You love how he looks in that shirt. Find something. It will go a long way.

There’s one last thing you need to be doing as well. This has to do with a man’s desire to be left alone, to do his own thing, and for you to not take it personally.

You hate when your man is just on his phone being a retard, right? Just looking at that fucking phone, giggling like a little kid. Well, your husband is on Twitter laughing at racist memes. He’s in group chats with his friends. The things that go on in that phone are infinitely more entertaining than anything he’s going to find in real life. The only thing that is going to appeal to him more is getting his dick sucked on the spot. Interrupt him with a nice blowjob and he will forget that he even has a phone.

But the goal is not for you to interrupt him by sucking his dick while he’s on his phone. If you want to, by all means. But you need to leave him alone. We like to be alone. He wants to be alone and that isn’t because he doesn’t want to spend time with you. We like to turn off the world and be a retard, thinking about nothing in particular, because we have the ability to do that, and you don’t, unfortunately. Being a retard on our phone recharges our batteries like shopping does for you. Why? Because we’re retards. We’re retarded. We like to laugh with our friends about stupid jokes and just shoot the shit. We are stupid and we like to get our dick sucked.

So the recipe to keep your man interested in you is not that complicated because we are not that complicated.

• You need to be leaving him alone.

• You need to be making him think he’s hot.

• You need to be randomly sucking his dick.