Why People Settle For Shitty Relationships
"Why are they still together?", said everyone.
I’m going to expand on a post of mine, building on an important Landshark tweet.
I see these types of relationships quite often:
Girl dates man who sleeps with a lot of girls. She thinks he’s only sleeping with her. He isn’t. She thinks she’s his girlfriend. She isn’t.
Man settles down with his first serious girlfriend. She bosses him around. He doesn’t stand up for himself. His friends never hear from him.
Girl dates a man stuck between adolescence and adulthood. She wants to get married. He doesn’t. She waits around. Nothing happens.
All of these relationships shouldn’t exist. Both people have valid reasons to dump each other but neither of them make the very difficult decision to pull the trigger. So they stay together. They settle for mediocrity. In this post I’m going to talk about why.
Lets analyze each “relationship” in detail.
The Man With Options
Girl dates man who sleeps with a lot of girls. She thinks he’s only sleeping with her. He isn’t. She thinks she’s his girlfriend. She isn’t.
She’s dating the type of man incels complain about. He’s at the tight end of the Pareto distribution. Charismatic and has his shit together. He can easily attract a lot of women. And he takes advantage of it.
She dreams of settling down with a guy like him. But he doesn’t want to settle down with her. So she lies to herself in 1 of 2 ways.
She inflates her ego because she landed a guy like him in the first place. She thinks she’s hot shit when really she just met the minimum criteria for him to have sex with her.
She tells herself he’s in love with her and is only sleeping with her when he isn’t. She tells her friends she’s in a “situationship.”
Or let’s assume he is sleeping with only her, but he doesn’t want to propose.
This is usually because:
He’s keeping his options open.
He’s underdeveloped and doesn’t understand the natural progression of getting married then having children. He’s clueless.
“Why doesn’t he just dump her?”
Because in this situation, the man is the winner and the woman is the loser. He gets to sleep around or get some free pussy from her without making any of the sacrifices. She’s not getting the hint and continues to sleep with him because she can’t resist.
“Why doesn’t she just dump him?”
Well, that’s easier said than done. There might not be anyone better. This guy might be The Man. If she dumps him, she might have to settle for someone who isn’t The Man. She will always think about him no matter who she dates. This is what we call being alphawidowed. That isn’t a good situation to be in.
There’s slim pickings for women now. Most men are gay (at least 70%) or don’t have their shit together. So when a girl finds a guy who is datable, she doesn’t want to leave, because she knows what the alternatives look like. So she remains delusional.
Far too often, especially in your 20’s, people are far too comfortable being in ambiguous or ‘casual’ relationships. This is merely cope for not realizing you’re going to die one day, your fertility declines over time (for both men and women), and you don’t respect your time.
If you’re dating a man with options, you need to have a conversation about whether or not you’re exclusive. If that conversation doesn’t happen, you’re both still single.
