The Sanctity of Purity

A comprehensive account of female sexual history.

Bodycount — the most insufferable yet prickly topic of all online ‘gender discourse.’ And understandably so. It’s the least cut and dry topic because we’re trying to morally evaluate someone’s past solely from a numerical value. But one’s sexual history is worthy of discussion given how sexual norms in the west have changed so drastically. The frequency and intensity of the debate may be annoying, but it’s inevitable, and it’s worth a fair deconstruction.

Like with all topics on the internet, there are very extreme takes on both sides that can be easily discarded. Some men believe if a girl sleeps with one (1) man she isn’t married to then she’s an irredeemable whore. Then there’s girls who believe sleeping with an infinite number of men is completely fine (“it’s sex work!”) and you gotta just man up, chud. Both of these opinions are too stupid to be worthy of consideration. Off to the dustbin of retarded internet takes they go. Therefore, the more reasonable position must be somewhere in the middle.

By the way — since when does basic arithmetic inspire so much passion in people? Are we really getting riled up about numbers? Given that sex is by far the most vulnerable and inherently personal topic there is, we should get to the root of what we’re really talking about here.

Before we get started, let’s make sure that you and I are both on the same page about what we’re talking about. This is my understanding of the “bodycount” discussion:

• A girl is born with 100% purity.

• When she loses her virginity, her purity is no longer 100%.

• Her purity decreases with every man she sleeps with.

• The opposite of purity is corruption.

• Men prefer a girl who is more pure than corrupted.

• Therefore, if a girl wants to be attractive to men, she should should strive to be more pure and less corrupted.

I’m on board with that. This is reasonable.

This begs the question — how much does her purity decrease with each new man she sleeps with exactly? This number matters, doesn’t it? If her purity decreases by 50% with each new man, then if she slept with 2 men — she has no purity left. She’s for the streets. If it decreases by 5%, then she can sleep with 19 men before you and still retain 5% of her purity. Is a 5% purity level acceptable before dating?

I know I’m sounding autistic here, but if the number doesn’t matter, then the topic should be completely discarded for good.

Let’s stress test the assumption a bit. Is it true that a girl’s purity decreases the same amount with each man she sleeps with? Does sleeping with a boyfriend of 3 years hold the same weight as a one-night stand with some clown? If so, then it’s rooted in another assumption required of investigation. The bodycount problem assumes that all men have the same value.

Is it true that all men have the same value? If so, then it’s okay that the vote of the homeless schizophrenic weighs just as much as the stable, successful and generous father of 3. It means that the transsexual pedophile deserves the same amount of bread on the breadline as you do. Do you believe this? I certainly don’t. Great. So we can agree — since all men are not the same, each man does not decrease a girl’s purity by the same amount. Therefore, 1 man ≠ 1 body.

Yes, you read that correctly. 1 man ≠ 1 body.

Let’s continue. Since we established that 1 man ≠ 1 body, we still need to figure out what it is that reduces her purity exactly. We did agree that purity can be reduced, after all.

What Controls for Purity?

Let’s look at some potential drivers. Is a girl’s purity reduced by the mere act of a dick being inside of her? What if it wasn’t inside of her pussy, but inside of her mouth? Blowjobs are arguably more intimate than sex. Do blowjobs reduce purity? Should a blowjob without sex count as a body?

Does rape count? Societies in the past claimed that rape did count; the rape victim would be scorned for it. They also believed that the Sun revolved around the Earth. Is it possible they were wrong about rape victims too? I’ll go ahead and say yes because it’s unfair and very extreme.

What if she was formerly a prostitute? I would say that definitely does decrease her purity. That’s self-evident to most, but lets be diligent. Why does being a prostitute reduce a girl’s purity?

Well, what’s the difference between a girl losing her virginity to a man she is very in love with, to having sex with her 2nd serious boyfriend, to having sex with a man she just met at bar, to having sex with a man only because he provides her a comfortable lifestyle, to having sex with a man for $900?

These are all quite different, so if we’re going to be precise here, then we should explore the differences.

The 4 Types of Sex

Losing Virginity Sex - a girl has sex for the first time. Ideally, she loses her virginity to a man who cares about her and their relationship is young, naive, and special. It’s an interesting phrase isn’t it? “Losing” her virginity, as if she lost her necklace. Really, the phrase should be giving her virginity. A girl gives her purity and innocence to the first man she has sex with.

Is this type of sex pure? If both people loved each other at the time, then it’s as pure as pure can get. There simply isn’t anything wrong with it. I would go as far to say the loss of virginity within a serious relationship is sacred.

And no, I will not be factoring in whether or not the couple in question is married. Marriage is a set of laws designed by the state outside of the realm of love, attraction, vulnerability or passion. It’s within the realm of family formation and tax brackets. Marriage isn’t an emotional state. For the sake of keeping this post crisp and to reduce subjective and moral variables, I will not be factoring in marriage.

Losing your virginity isn’t always pure, by the way. I’m sure we can agree, losing your virginity to some guy from another school at a frat party isn’t the same as losing your virginity to your high school boyfriend. In that case, she technically gave her virginity to this guy, but he may or may not even remember it. Unfortunately, that type of sex is less pure, and falls within the realm of a One Night Stand, which I’ll get to later.

Serious Relationship Sex - sex within a monogamous relationship. This is pure because there’s vulnerability involved. You’ve made a commitment to not have sex with anyone else, and both of you have expectations to be loved and treated with respect. You can fall deeper and deeper in love with each other or you could ruin each other’s life. There’s a lot at stake. Your heart is at stake. I think we can agree that sex in a serious relationship is usually more pure than a one night stand — but not always. Sometimes relationship sex is merely a chore or an obligation, in that case it isn’t pure, but it’s more pure than Prostitution Sex, which I’ll get to soon.

One Night Stand Sex - you had sex with someone once then never had sex with them again. Are One Night Stands pure? Well, compared to losing your virginity to someone special, no. Compared to having sex with someone you’ve been in a serious relationship with for 7 years who treats you poorly and gained 20 pounds but you really just need to get off? Yes.

This is where things get dicey because not all One Night Stands are the same. I’ll divide this into 3 types.

• You Just Have To Sex - you lock eyes with someone and the chemistry just floods your veins. You’re magnetically attracted to each other. Something between you two just clicks. You’re not even thinking about what a potential relationship could look like, you just want them. Like an animal. One thing leads to another and you end up having sex, which is oftentimes incredible. Spontaneity. The magic of life. Many won’t agree, but I find this to be very pure.

• I’m Just Horny Sex - you’re at a bar, your friend already went home with someone, you’re drunk and you’re very horny. You just want to have sex. Someone starts talking to you, they’re good enough, so why not. Or — you went on a date, they’re good enough, and you’re having a good time, so why not. This kind of sex not pure. It’s scratching a biological itch.

• Friends with Benefits Sex - I don’t like this term because I don’t think ‘casual sex’ is real. There isn’t anything ‘casual’ about the most intimate and personal act you can possibly partake in, whether or not you feel intimate with them. But sometimes you end up hooking up with someone, neither of you are looking for a serious relationship, you have fun together and you have sex. Sometimes a few times a week, sometimes every weekend. Whenever. It’s open. And you very well may have a real connection. But you both know you’re not looking for a serious relationship, at least for now. It isn’t pure, but it also isn’t just a scratching biological itch. It’s having fun while accepting a future bad outcome, because you both know eventually it’s going to have to end. And these situations rarely end amicably. Someone always ends up falling for the other, they eventually want more than just sex, they start fighting, or someone finds someone else they want to commit to.

Prostitution Sex - having sex for money. This is not pure. Why? Because none of the above criteria is met. There’s no passion and there’s nothing at stake except for dollars. It’s a transaction. There isn’t much more to examine when it comes to prostitution sex and purity.

So we’ve looked at the 4 Types of Sex and can agree there’s a spectrum of purity. It isn’t clear exactly how much purity is involved in each, except for Prostitution Sex. I think we can agree this is a pretty muddy topic.

Yet, we still haven’t fleshed out exactly what we’re talking about here. What exactly is purity?

Purity Examined

Purity is, quite simply, one’s inherent innocence. Inborn innocence births one’s capacity to trust and therefore their ability to love and be loved. You, as soon as you were born, were pure. You trusted everyone and everything. The world revolved around you.

Why is sexual history so wrapped up in trying to determine someone’s purity? Surely, being a prostitute can reduce someone’s purity. If you were abandoned or severely neglected by a parent, raped, or betrayed by a best friend, a lot of your purity was reduced. You thought the world was a safe place and learned brutally that it isn’t, so you now defend yourself against future pain. You’re weary of people as such, and even more weary about the gender who hurt you. Depending on the severity and intensity of one’s past, it may feel impossible to ever trust anyone ever again.

This opens up a problem for bodycount discourse. This means a girl can be a virgin, but not pure. Experiences in her past already took her purity away from her, and she can no longer trust people. For all you know, her father treated her so terribly that she might have a vengeance against men altogether. And you might not learn about that for many years.

There’s even less severe examples of how one can be a virgin and be unpure. What if she started watching hardcore porn at 11 years old? What if she masturbates aggressively on a regular basis while using sex toys? What if she’s unable to experience any pleasure or real intimacy because of this? According to bodycount discourse, this is essentially the same as being “ran through.” No?

I think you get what I’m driving at. Thinking about one’s sexual history in a binary way isn’t very useful. The topic is about much more than numbers, and determining how much purity a girl has is nearly impossible. But as I stated, one’s sexual history is significant, so what’s the proper way to think about it?