The Myth of Enthusiastic Sex

This post caused nuclear controversy. The most frequent accusations were that I’m a virgin, never had good sex, or prefer to have sex with “starfish.” These responses were expected.

If a man believes women need to be “good in bed”, then he is exposing himself as a radical male feminist. This belief implies women hold equal power and are completely responsible for man’s sexual experience. It’s an admission that men are to be used as skin dildos for women to ride for their pleasure, while men just sit there to be drained. It’s an incredibly submissive position, revealing lack of sexual prowess and zero understanding of female nature. If a man actually wants the girl he’s having sex with, then he knows that all she needs to do is look hot and lay down.

When I try to empathize with someone who believes this — I imagine them thinking of a woman screaming, biting, and scratching during sex as being synonymous with sex itself. This image is normal given that’s what most men expect or want during sex. However, expecting and wanting are two completely states of being.

With regard to a woman’s pleasure during sex, a man’s state falls into three categories: indifference, expecting, and wanting. In this post I will explore all three states, and the misunderstanding of pleasure.