The Case for Male Skincare

How to avoid looking like Tim Walz

Whoa, whoa. Med. Skincare is for women. Taking care of your face is gay!

I could see why you may think that given girls obsess over their skin. Rightfully so. They want to look younger for men. As I’ve said many times, men don’t need to worry about their physical appearance as much as girls do. Character matters more. But that’s within reason. Do you want end up looking like Tim Walz?

Tim Walz has jowls. His skin is so loose that his cheeks fall over his mouth, forming an upside down smile. Even if he outsmarted JD Vance (impossible), he still would have lost merely because of how he looks while standing next to him. His skin looks old. Loose and wrinkly skin reminds us of mortality and death. It turns everybody off. It’s better to have youthful skin than old skin.

I’m not Bryan Johnson. I’m not going to suggest that you spend an insane amount of money on injections, take a trillion supplements, and be in bed by 7pm to look young forever. But there’s a lot you can do to have better skin now and avoid having terrible skin when you’re old.

“But Med, I just use a bar of soap and my face looks great!” I’m happy for you. You can use the same bar of soap you use to clean your asshole to clean your face if you want to. There’s old women who live to 100 and eat nothing but chocolate. That doesn’t mean you should do it. Your skin is an organ. It operates a certain way.

I’m going to walk you through the basics of how your skin works, why Tim Walz looks the way he does, and what you can do to avoid looking like a flabby old man.

I could just tell you which products to buy, but then you wouldn’t know why you’re using them. That isn’t good. Following suggestions blindly isn’t good. In the words of the wise chef Marco Pierre White: “Question why you’re doing what you’re doing.”

Yes, I will recommend the products I use, but first I’m going to explain the basics. Not to brag, but my skin is beautiful. I’ve been taking care of it for a long time.

We’re going to talk about water, pores, dead skin cells, free radicals, pH levels, collagen, sleep, and stress.

Water

Your skin contains proteins that give your face its structure, strength, and elasticity (collagen and elastin). These proteins’ fibers require water to function properly. When they’re properly hydrated, they stay flexible and resilient.

Your skin cells require water to function well. When your skin cells are hydrated, they’re more plump. This makes your skin look smoother and more youthful.

When you’re well-hydrated, your skin barrier is better at protecting itself against free radicals and retains moisture. It feels smoother and softer. It’s more elastic. When your skin barrier is dehydrated, it feels rough and flaky. It loses its elasticity, which causes it to sag. This creates fine lines and wrinkles.

Tim Walz didn’t stay hydrated. And now it’s too late. You should stay hydrated.

Moisturizers contain ingredients that attract water to your skin (humectants). Examples of humectants are hyaluronic acid, glycerin, and aloe vera. They draw moisture from the environment and the deeper layers of the skin to the surface. Hyaluronic acid can hold up to 1000x its weight in water.

Moisturizers also contain ingredients that create a barrier on the skin to prevent water loss (occlusives). Some examples of occlusives are petrolatum and beeswax. They keep the water sealed into your skin.

Moisturizers also contain ingredients that fill in the gaps between skin cells, causing them to appear softer and smoother (emollients). They enhance your skin’s texture and it’s ability to retain moisture. Examples of emollients are fatty acids, lanolin and shea butter.

Tim Walz didn’t moisturize his skin. And now it’s too late. You should moisturize your skin.

Dead Skin Cells

Your skin has multiple layers. Skin cells are created in the deepest layer of your skin. When they’re created, they’re healthy. They’re full of nutrients and moisture. They gradually mature and move to the surface of your skin. On the way up, they lose their nutrients. They become hard and flat. Once they reach the outermost layer, they die.

After your skin cells die, they become filled with a protein that helps protect your skin from pollution and bacteria. The dead skin cells produce a protective barrier. After they’ve served their purpose, they naturally shed from your skin’s surface and are replaced with new skin cells.

How long does this process take? When you’re in your 20’s, around 28 days. When you’re in your 30’s and 40’s, up to 30-40 days. The slower the process, the older you look. Your skin looks dull. Your texture becomes uneven. Fine lines begin to appear.