Jealousy vs. Possession

The differences in male and female self-destruction

Recently one of my followers on X asked me “What are your thoughts on jealousy and when it’s good and reasonable vs when it’s bad and projects weakness?” I gave an off-the-cuff response. I said “Jealousy vs. Possessiveness are very different. The former implies a brittle constitution, the latter implies ownership.”

No man is God himself. Each man knows where he comes up short in comparison to other men, whether he wants to admit it or not. Male jealousy arises out of fear of being cuckolded.

Very few women are a 10. Each woman knows, perhaps too much, what her flaws are, and are constantly being bombarded with reminders of where they aren’t physically perfect. Female jealousy arises out of fear of abandonment.

My follower had a follow-up question. “So if you generally believe your girl is faithful, but might have some attraction to someone and brings them up a little too much... best to ignore forever? Where do you draw a line, if ever? Or is the only line you draw by walking away if she crosses one that should be obvious.”

It’s a good question and requires a more detailed response better suited for Substack. Male and female jealousy are by nature very different and express themselves to different ends of self-destruction, so I will expand on both here.