Yesterday I was randomly selected to have my balls fondled by a TSA worker. Again. Women think I’m kidding, but this happens to men all the time. A TSA employee has to feel the front of your dick, the outside of your nutsack on both sides, your taint, then right around the upper thigh and your ass. Your options are to have it done in a private room or in public, or have your flight cancelled. Why? No reason given.
“Put your arms out and spread your legs sir.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ve been randomly selected.”
“What does that mean?”
*points at a screen that shows the letter ‘G’ over my dick*
“What does that mean?”
*morbidly obese TSA manager hears what’s going on*
“SIR! BEING AGGRESSIVE WITH A TSA WORKER IS A FELONY!”
“I’m not being aggressive. I’m asking for a reason. You can’t give me a reason?”
“SIR! DO YOU WANT TO BOARD YOUR FLIGHT OR DO I NEED TO CANCEL IT AND CALL SECURITY?”
I’m not exaggerating. This is exactly what happened. This is what always happens. I give them a hard time about it every time, because fuck them.
Why was she so outraged I even dared to question her? Because Americans put up with it every day. Everyone just rolls their eyes, eats shit, then moves on. We’ve gotten used to being treated like slaves at the airport.
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