If a man is musty, then he either isn’t maintaining basic hygiene, or his home smells so funky that the stench clings onto his clothes and skin, following him throughout his life. He’s a slob. He’s musty because he doesn’t care, or because that’s all he knows. He might believe that taking care of himself is gay, or a little too prim.

There is nothing masculine or feminine about being a clean person. It’s part of being an adult in Western civilization. But not everyone rises to the occasion. I’ve lived with men. I can confirm that some men are fine with seeing trash pile up into a mountain, letting dishes “soak” in the sink for days, and using old crusty pillows that look like they’ve been used to mop urine. I’ve also heard countless complaints from women about men’s bathrooms being biohazards, men not wiping their ass well, or men rarely changing their underwear. Truly, it isn’t hard to figure out why most people aren’t having sex.

In this post I will cover the basics of male hygiene and home maintenance. If you stay on top of these things, you will not be musty. While I might sound harsh at times, I write this from a place of love.

Read more

Read more

The Sopranos is the most human show of all time. The spectrum of good and evil is displayed within the context of a male patriarch seeing a female therapist. Some of the most lovable characters are also the most morally deplorable. The gaps in intelligence create endless room for manipulation and revenge. Here’s why I placed each main character where they are.

Warning: if you’ve never watched The Sopranos, this post will ruin the first-time experience. I highly recommend watching the full series before reading.

Subscribe now

Smart/Evil

To any man interested in dating a “BPD girl”: ask yourself if you would marry Tony’s mother, Livia Soprano. Tony accurately describes her as ‘a bottomless black hole.’ Her personality is terminally negative and joyless. She’s an eternal victim who creates drama out of thin air. She despises her children for no apparent reason. She plots with Junior to have Tony killed, merely because she hates her son. Livia Soprano is smart enough to manipulate Tony but not smart enough to kill him. David Chase created an exceptional villain. There’s not much else to say. Livia is pure evil.

Janice Soprano is the most hatable character on The Sopranos. She’s a manipulative fat mess who shamelessly mooches off her family. To quote Tony, she comes back in their lives to “pick the bones” as Livia was getting sick. Like Livia, she’s an eternal victim. She’s the wacky granola aunt who actively tries to sabotage Meadow’s ambitions. Janice is smart enough to manipulate everyone in her life other than Tony and Junior. The only reason she isn’t as evil as Livia is because she genuinely tried to get her anger under control after Bobby threatened to leave her, per Tony’s warning.

Junior Soprano is one of the most beloved characters on The Sopranos. He’s hilarious without trying to be. His one-liners add comic relief to a tense environment: “Go shit in your hat”, “Me and him go back to when Moses wore short pants.” Junior is also a romantic who loves eating pussy. He admits to falling in love with his brother’s mistress but never pursued her because he didn’t want to bring a woman into the dark world of the mob. He serves as a mentor to Tony despite plotting with his mother to have him killed. Junior is also highly perceptive, nothing gets past him. Even deep into old age, he was skeptical of Janice’s random acts of kindness. Junior falls in the Evil quadrant because without a wife and children, the mafia was his whole life. He was willing to kill Tony to absorb more power because he had nothing else. Junior only looks out for himself.

Ralph Cifaretto is the only true psychopath on The Sopranos. To get back at Paulie for ratting him out to Johnny Sack, he pranks his mother with a story about him being arrested for molesting a little boy. He kills a stripper who was pregnant with his child. He lights a horse on fire to get the insurance payout. Ralphie is also quick-witted, entertaining, and often hilarious. The only reason he isn’t as evil as Livia is that he showed actual remorse when his son got stabbed in the heart with an arrow. Ralphie is one of the sickest characters on the show.

Phil Leotardo is the final boss of Tony’s villains. He‘s a disgruntled, resentful, and uncouth captain who never had his moment. Extremely violent and someone to be feared. At the same time, he’s the most old school character on the show. Despite hating Tony, he refuses to “whack a boss.” This is why I didn’t put him in the far edge of evil. Phil is principled in his own way: he ordered the death of Vito for disgracing his family and believed his son would be better off without a gay father. For all his brutality, Phil can still control himself and wait for the right moment to act in accordance with the rules.

Subscribe now

Smart/Good

Dr. Jennifer Melfi is the most interesting character on The Sopranos because she’s such an outlier. She’s the only person who truly understands Tony and can’t be outsmarted by him. She’s extremely self-aware and knows Tony is only attracted to her because she’s the loving and nurturing mother figure Tony never had. She’s patient with him despite his many failures to try to overcome himself. She also resists her most primal temptations. She stopped herself from unleashing Tony on the man who raped her. She also stopped herself from being seduced by Tony, despite being attracted to him. Dr. Melfi serves as a counterweight to Tony’s relationship with women by being the polar opposite of his evil mother. She eventually stopped seeing him after another therapist convinced her that continuing to treat him is enabling. Despite their sudden and complicated ending, Dr. Melfi is the smartest woman on the show and the most admirable.

Johnny Sack is my second favorite character on The Sopranos after Tony. He’s cool, level-headed, and calculated. Tony respects him because he’s “as smart as a whip.” His violence isn’t random — he beats one of Ralphie’s men to a pulp simply for working for the guy who insulted his enormous wife, Ginny. I’ll admit it — Johnny’s passion for his Ginny (who he describes as “Rubenesque”) and his refusal to have women on the side are what placed him on the Good quadrant rather than Evil.

Carmela Soprano is a complicated character. She’s fiercely protective of her children and loyal to Tony, despite having every reason not to be. She defers to Tony as the head of the household and admits being deeply attracted to him regardless of his flaws. She doesn’t show any particular malice towards anyone. She was also tempted at several points. She kissed another man and fell in love with Furio (the only example of true love on the show). Carmela was also morally conflicted; she confided in several priests and therapists to reconcile her feelings with her responsibilities as a Catholic wife and mother. She also could see right through Tony, though not as poignantly as Dr. Melfi. Carmela is no bullshit and isn’t afraid to call people out and bring them back down to Earth. Even though Tony lived a secret life, she knew what Tony was up to and accepted it. She just preferred for it to be unspoken rather than be waved in her face. She also saw right through Livia. She called her out for knowing exactly how much power she held over Tony as his mother and weaponizing it against him. Despite being a great mother and wife, it’s hard not to suspect she also stayed with Tony for the lavish life he provided. Carmela is a morally complicated character. She keeps her children in harm’s way but she’s ultimately a good wife and mother under the circumstances. She’s bright, but not as smart as Tony.

Meadow Soprano is the golden child. She’s smart, ambitious, and manipulative. Tony once drunkenly told her, “You’re all me.” She knows how to outsmart her parents and caught onto Tony being in the mob at a young age. Despite being a typical liberal NYU student, she denies the existence of the mafia. In one scene, she calls out Jackie Jr.’s sister for speaking about the mob in front of an “outsider.” If Meadow were born male, she would have been Tony’s rightful heir, which would have spared us the annoying story of Chris or the disappointment of AJ. She has the intelligence and self-control her little brother completely lacks.

Bobby Baccalieri, or Bobby Baccala, is the only unequivocally upstanding male character. He was devastated over the death of his wife and grieved her long past her death. He didn’t see women on the side. He loved his children and went out of his way to take care of Junior even though Junior didn’t show much love towards him in return. Bobby is humble. While Junior was deciding between honoring Richie’s request to take out Tony, Bobby looked at him and said “I’m in awe of you” merely because he respected Junior’s wisdom. Bobby isn’t dumb, but he’s too trusting of people and leans towards seeing the good in everyone. This is why I put him on the lower side of Smart.

Subscribe now

Evil/Dumb

AJ Soprano is the typical American teenage boy. He just wants to hang out with his friends and be one of the cool kids. People often argue that AJ is a product of his environment as a spoiled rich kid, but Tony and Carmela put just as much energy into raising him as they did Meadow, yet he never progressed. Throughout the show, he’s a shitty and selfish kid who never tries to improve himself. In the last season, he tries and fails to kill Junior as a display of faux-masculinity to avenge Tony. Then he tries and fails to kill himself. AJ is a loser. I’m convinced David Chase created AJ to remind the viewer that no matter how much effort you put into your children, sometimes you just get a shitty one. AJ is the dumbest character on the show. His selfishness and stupidity put him in the Evil quadrant rather than Good.

Paulie Gualtieri, aka Paulie Walnuts, is also a fascinating character. His life is tragic. His mother got knocked up after WWII, became a nun, and gave him to his sister, who raised him as her own. Paulie only finds out the truth later in life and resents that he gave his aunt “a son’s love” on false pretenses. He’s also remarkably selfish and slimy. He blamed the Russian “interior decorator” for him and Chris getting lost in the woods, despite Paulie clearly being at fault. He tells Johnny Sack about Ralphie’s joke on Ginny’s 90 pound mole on her ass, nearly getting Ralphie and Chris killed. He complains about Tony to Johnny Sack and tries to jump families more than once. Paulie is smarter than Chris because he’s wiser and less impulsive. He’s tries to tell Chris to stop looking for meaning in life where there isn’t any and is content with not making much out of himself. Chris asks him “You ever think nothing good was gonna happen to you?”, to which Paulie replies “Yeah, and nothing did. So what?”

Christopher Moltisanti is the second main character after Tony. He’s a self-obsessed lost soul living under the booming shadow of Tony. He romanticizes the old code of the mafia while showing no ability or desire to live by it. He yearns to have an identity, or an “arc” in his life. He’s an alcoholic and a drug addict. He frequently beats Adriana despite her doing no wrong to him. He’s loud, impulsive, and lacks self-awareness. Chris’s stupidity is what makes him evil.

Richie Aprile, similar to Phil, is old school. He warns Chris about hitting Adriana, his niece, but after he marries her he’s allowed to beat her as much as he wants. He’s a loose cannon who immediately tries to prove himself again after his prison sentence by displaying horrific acts of violence. He’s less evil than Ralphie because he doesn’t hurt people just for fun. He’s less evil than Janice because he doesn’t mooch off people. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know exactly where to place his intelligence. He’s not particularly smart or dumb, but I chose to place him in the Dumb quadrant because he was stupid enough to marry Janice.

Good/Dumb

Adriana La Cerva is obsessed with Chris-ta-phuh. To be fair, Chris is macho in his own way and embraces traditional gender roles. It’s understandable why a guidette from New Jersey might be attracted to him. She stays with him even after he beat her multiple times and stole from her. She stays even after he becomes delusional about a screenwriting career despite being an untalented heroin addict. Ultimately, Adriana just wants to look hot and be a mob wife. She doesn’t do anything particularly evil to anyone throughout the show, though I think she would have banged Tony that night if they didn’t get into a car accident. Adriana is very dumb and somewhat good.

Subscribe now

Tony sits dead-center between good and evil. I break that down here:

“I need to ask my wife.” Far too often this just means “I need to ask my wife for permission.” At this point, he’s already given up his role as the head of the household. As a result, he will rarely see his friends again. This is different than responsible coordination. A father shouldn’t just go on a golf trip with his friends without talking to his wife first given she will have to pick up the slack. They should discuss planning and arrangements first before he commits. But that’s rarely what happens. And I’m not being anecdotal. The percentage of American men with at least six close friends has dropped from 55% in 1990 to 27% in 2021. The percentage of men with zero friends has increased from 3% to 15%.

Read more

It’s easy to get used to yourself. Especially if your life is stagnant or predictable. You’ve come to conclusions about yourself years ago but never revisited them. Lies that have embedded themselves into your soul.

You can quit the job you hate. End the shitty relationship. Move to another country. And still, you’re stuck with yourself again. Back to square one. The dramatic changes you made turned out to be surface-level. That which stops you from becoming remains.

The mind is exceptional at creating potent images of a potential future. Picturing yourself dying alone in a nursing home might inspire you to treat people better. Picturing yourself with the life you always wanted might inspire you to become more disciplined. These images are effective at inspiring change. Temporarily.

I don’t like to feel inspired. I don’t trust it. Sparks of inspiration come and go. They’re a weekend fling. Nothing changes permanently without irreversible transformation.

When I lie to myself about my flaws, I can no longer see that image of myself. I either justify them or pretend they don’t exist. I’m prone to sloth. I’m prone to overindulgence.

“I can be really fucking lazy.”

“I self-soothe to avoid feeling guilt.”

“I’m overly critical of people, just like my father.”

When I fully acknowledge my flaws, and see them as barriers that can be overcome, I see him clearly again. When I’m arrogant, he fades away.

“I’m the fucking man actually.”

“I have everything I ever wanted.”

“My teenage self would be proud of me.”

Great. Good stuff. Maybe I should just kill myself then. If I’m not striving for more, what’s the point in being alive?

I don’t like to give blanket advice. Everyone is different. Coming toe-to-toe with your own nature is the scary reality that makes inspiration so fleeting because the grunt work required to change is daunting. Admitting your flaws out loud, writing them down, praying for help, then sticking to a plan to fix them. Getting your hands dirty with your own filth is the only way to climb out of the hole you dug for yourself.

Subscribe now

Related Posts

Every song on my iPod was curated by me. If a band was a one-hit wonder, only their one hit was included. If I loved a song, it was on my iPod. If I didn’t, then it didn’t exist. That satisfying scroll of the white wheel. Ticktickticktickticktick. My iPod was me.

The only downside was you had to buy music on iTunes. Each album cost ~$15, roughly the same amount as CDs.

But there were better, less legal options to obtain music.

Napster, LimeWire, Oink, KaZaA. I could download any song I ever wanted. I’d cross my fingers, roll the dice, and hope I wasn’t downloading a virus. If the file worked, I’d add it to my iTunes then sync it with my iPod. My entire illegal stash at my fingertips.

For a while, music was free until the government started suing Napster users to make an example of them. The threatening legal letter I received from the FBI was effective. Party’s over.

Spotify soon arrived to solve the piracy problem. For just $9.99/month you could listen to everything. Legally. Most artists already had their entire discography on there.

But there’s something missing on music streaming apps. Having every song ever recorded…in an app…just feels odd. The search options by genre are terrible. You can’t search for all artists of a particular genre in alphabetical order. You have to cross your fingers and hope the app recommends you good music.

I often feel stuck wondering “what am I in the mood for right now?” then blindly typing in whatever artist comes to mind. It just doesn’t hit the same as being on the hunt.

There’s a curiosity while physically hunting for music that’s robbed by the algorithm. While streaming apps might recommend new artists you never heard of, the joy of music curation is gone.

The iPod felt boutique. Streaming apps feel like Costco.

Music Wants To Be Held

A few years after Spotify was released, I bought a beautiful Audio-Technica record player. I didn’t own any records yet, but I knew it was time to start exploring. I walked into an old record store and browsed for an hour. I walked out with a new press of In Rainbows and a used Led Zeppelin II. Off to a good start.

Read more

• (00:14) Introduction & Origin of the Topic: Why male friendships are emotionally low-maintenance but often hollow.

• (02:18) Male Communication Styles & Psychology: Male vs. female communication styles, primal instincts around manhood, and signaling reliability.

• (05:52) The Homer Simpsonized Modern Man: The domesticated man shaped by media and fathers, one-dimensional interests, lack of autonomy, and the limitations of friendships with such men.

• (12:57) True Brotherhood: Rare but meaningful male friendships, mutual respect, and the brittleness of the male ego.

• (16:43) How to Spot Good vs. Bad Male Friends: Positive traits of solid, trustworthy men + major red flags to avoid (gossip, shadiness, passivity, unacknowledged demons).

• (21:12) Conclusion & Importance: Why this topic matters, societal factors, and plans for deeper discussion.

Read more

In case you don’t want to read or watch the interview, here’s the summary:

Louise states that the sexual revolution, defined as the normalization of casual sex enabled by the birth control pill, ignores how women bear the risk of unplanned pregnancies while men have a stronger drive for casual sex. She states that early radical feminists like Andrea Dworkin were too extreme, leading to “heteropessimism” and low birth rates among feminists.

Subscribe now

She then explains how social media exacerbates gender division by exposing each other to locker room talk and female gossip, causing young women to become radicalized against men while young men develop a hostility towards women.

The interview leads to Ross asking Louise why it’s a good thing that modern men need to actively help women pursue their careers while being mothers. I was in agreement with most of her positions throughout the interview, but this is where she finally lost me.

Read more

Start Survey

As a thank you, here’s a 7 day free trial. I’ll leave the link open through July 4th.

Get 7 day free trial

Here are a few recent posts that paid subscribers have been reading:

Also, in case you were a former listener — Medcast is back:

These (and over 120 others) are only available to paid subscribers.

Enjoy 🤍

• 00:36: Why I left Twitter

• 4:38: How I built my own Twitter archive without knowing how to code

• 7:59: How to actually use AI effectively and Marc Andreesen’s master prompt

• 11:33: My experience after a year on Retatrutide

• 15:36: Why I don’t trust JD Vance

• 21:11: Why sake is the superior way to consume alcohol

• 22:34: Why Kill Bill is Tarantino’s best film

• 25:57: How I handle breakups and radical transformation through grief

• 30:30: Should men go to therapy? Psychoanalysis vs. cognitive behavioral therapy, Tony Soprano & Dr. Melfi, male vs. female therapists

• 36:53: My experience with shrooms and molly

• 42:33: How to maintain sanity on social media without losing yourself

• 47:44: True friends vs. cheerleaders

• 53:30: Overcoming an inferiority complex from childhood

• 56:24: My favorite unreleased John Mayer tracks

You can ask me anything by joining my exclusive chat for paid subscribers.

Enjoy 🤍

Subscribe now

Read more

There’s little reason to argue during the early stages of dating, amidst the depths of pure bliss — but after the ecstasy inevitably wears off, many couples find themselves wondering: “What happened to us?” Daily instances of bickering, belittling, and score-keeping wear down their romantic dynamic. Unspoken frustrations tighten into a knot of anger and agitation. Then suddenly, one of you presses the wrong button and all of your grievances rise to the surface. The discussion flies off the rails and it feels like you’re speaking different languages while circling a bottomless drain.

Soon, an ugly fight ignites. You’re at war — whoever inflicts the most emotional pain wins, and whoever breaks down first loses. You say things you regret and apologize later, but some words can’t be unsaid. You wish you could just go back to the way things were, but deep down you know that won’t happen.

Subscribe now

Persistent fighting originates from the exact moment you realize they aren’t the person you fell in love with. Maybe they frequently disappoint you, your values aren’t aligned, or they remind you a little too much of your second favorite parent — but you didn’t see this coming. You’re deep into the relationship with this different version of them, and you feel stuck. Even on good days, a fight can erupt at any moment. You can never fully relax because you’re walking on eggshells in your own home. Resentment begins to take shape. They leave the room and you feel a sense of relief.

Read more

• Bush or no bush?

• How do I attract a Slavic girl?

• How do I stop attracting women who aren’t over their ex?

• My girlfriend does nude modeling. Should I be nervous?

• What is the proper Hinge etiquette for women?

• Where should an attractive 37-year old attractive woman meet men?

• How do you manage women in the workplace?

• I’m 30 and don’t have my life together. Should I start dating?

• How do I find a purpose in life?

• Is it worth getting skinny enough to have thin arms but end up losing the curves of my butt and thighs?

• How do I stop my mind from being dulled by slop?

• What are the aspects of American culture you appreciate most vs. European culture?

• What do you think about Spanish cuisine?

• Do you read any monthly/quarterly print publications?

• What is your favorite Tim Dillon rant?

• What kind of coffee do you prefer?

• When and how did you lose your virginity?

• How should I handle my fiancé who wants to be content with making less money?

• Why do you not believe in waiting until marriage if it produces generally better long-term results?

Paid subscribers can ask me anything by joining my chat or DMing me directly.

Subscribe now

Bush or no bush?

Med: No bush. Never bush. Not a fan of the landing strip either, it’s goofy. A little stubble after a few days is fine, I’m a reasonable man — but body hair is manly.

If it were up to me, all women would have mandatory laser hair removal everywhere below the eyelashes. Nothing worse than a beautiful pussy covered in hair. It’s is like putting an afro on top of the Mona Lisa. What are you doing?

How do I attract a Slavic girl?

Med: I’m going to show you a few posts about Slavic women that could help with this.

My girlfriend does nude modeling. Should I be nervous?

Subscriber: Hey Med. My current girlfriend has been doing nude modeling for a figure drawing class for the last 2 years. We’ve been together for about 9 months and she did it once since we have been together. We talked about it before and she basically said that im the one fucking her and there is no one else who gets access to her the way that i do. The problem for me is shes very physically gifted (hot) and i know there is AT LEAST one guy in the class that gets aroused seeing her with no clothing. She’s now modeling for another class next week and I’m starting to feel some anxiety about it again. Have you dealt with anything like this? I know women get sexualized just by walking down the street but willingly standing naked in front of 15+ people (mainly the men im concerned about) just provides even more entertainment for them.

Med: I haven’t been in this exact situation but I dated a girl who dressed a little too revealing for my liking. I told her I didn’t like it and she stopped.

The fact that she was doing this before started dating indicates that she isn’t shit testing you, it might be something she enjoys doing. From her perspective, she probably likes having her body being treated like a work of art. I would try to replicate what she’s experiencing. If you don’t draw, tell her you want to take nude pictures of her. Get a nice camera, make it about more than just having nudes on your iPhone. That could be a good replacement for what she’s feeling as she’s being drawn. If she likes that but still insists on going, then it’s time to have a conversation.

That being said, she isn’t single anymore. Part of being in a relationship is sacrificing things you did when you were single to be considerate to the person you’re dating. If this a dealbreaker for you, then you need to tell her that. However, how you say it matters more than what you say. It’s important that you don’t sound insecure or controlling while having the conversation. Simply tell her that it doesn’t work for you. If she says it’s a dealbreaker for her to do nude modeling, then unfortunately the relationship isn’t going to work and you should tell her it’s over.

If you trust her enough and think there’s nothing funny going on and you can live with it, then trust your gut. But be honest with yourself. If it’s always going to bother you, this is going to cause problems in the future.

The way I see it is if I’m dating a girl, she’s mine, which means her body is mine. Only I’m allowed to see her naked. Personally I wouldn’t allow it.

How do I stop attracting women who aren’t over their ex?

Subscriber: How do I stop getting with girls that aren’t over their ex. It seems to be a big phenomenon with every girl I get with I don’t know if I just have a “rebound guy” look or whatever but it’s a big problem in my dating life. 20(M)

Med: I wouldn’t think too much about it. They could just be yapping or complaining about their ex, which is normal. That doesn’t necessarily mean they were alphawidowed.

I wouldn’t let the topic linger for too long though. You don’t want to end up in the friendzone. Let her bitch about him, listen to her, then lightly dunk on him to separate yourself from him. This make it clear you aren’t him and communicates that you’re interested in her romantically/sexually without saying it explicitly. You can always say that too.

If you’re often the rebound guy, that means they don’t see long-term potential with you but see sex in the short-term. There’s worse positions to be in. If you’d rather be seen as boyfriend/husband material then ask yourself if giving off vibes that say you’re only there for a fun time and not a long time. There’s a balance to strike between both.

What is proper Hinge etiquette for women?

Subscriber: Hey, loved your essay today. I have a companion question for your AMA. What is the etiquette with accepting likes?

Hinge put me back in rotation this week so I’m getting likes again. But I’m running into the same scenario everyone is always complaining about, you match and then there’s no conversation. At all.

A guy sends a like. I accept. Now we can chat. Hinge says it’s “my turn.” But is it? I feel like once I accept a like that’s an invitation for him to talk to me. Like I did my part, but are they expecting me to start the conversation? Some start the conversation of course, but a lot don’t. But then they don’t unmatch either. I wouldn’t be wondering if they just unmatched.

And if their initial “like” is a comment, then am I *really* expected to start the conversation once we match?

Med: A lot of guys don’t know how to start the conversation and are indeed hoping you will start it, but that doesn’t mean you should. The man should always initiate the conversation. You should only initiate if you’re really interested in him. That being said, if his like was a comment, then he technically started the conversation and you should respond. You don’t need to change the subject or talk about something new, but you should respond to his comment at least.

I know it’s against your nature to initiate, but that’s sometimes how the back-and-forth works on the apps. You have nothing to lose either way.

Attractive, never married, childless 37-year-old woman (girl?) here. Very social, loves to have fun, civic-minded and involved in the community. Catholic but not too weird about it. Hyperfeminine in presentation/appearance. Where should I meet men? PS I love your work.

Med: I’m not an expert on where to meet men but I can tell you my philosophy on meeting people in general. There isn’t a specific place or app where you’re more likely to meet an interesting person. People are everywhere. Some of those people are boring as sin and some of those people are fascinating. Go to places you genuinely like. If you happen to meet someone there, great. If not, at least you still had a good time.

How do you manage women in the workplace?

Subscriber: Med, you’ve mentioned before your leadership experience in the workplace and that leading men is different than woman. How do you recommend to lead and manage women in the workplace?

I work in Marketing and it’s skews female. Teams of girls I’ve managed can be petty, can gossip, can get offended easily. They can team up on you because you’re the guy, because you are competent and get shit done.

Med: Managing women at work requires a completely different skill set than managing men. The idea that men and women should be treated the same at work is moronic. Accepting that women have certain tendencies like gossiping and teaming up on guys makes it easier to manage them. It’s in their nature. You can’t do anything about it. You also need to have a lighter touch when critiquing their work or guiding them, whereas with men you can be a little more direct.

The most frustrating part about working in an office is how easily offended women can be. Businesses are competitive both internally and externally by nature. Everyone is competing against each other to outshine everyone else. If the office were all men, the environment would feel more competitive by way of shit talking and bragging. Work would be more fun and higher octane. Co-ed working environments make that impossible. Men have to basically castrate themselves in order to not ruffle the feathers of the women in the office.

If you’re having a weekly meeting with a woman and she starts bitching about another girl on the team or drops some gossip, hear her out for a few minutes then get the conversation back on track. You shouldn’t shut her down immediately as you won’t be seen as approachable, but you shouldn’t let it go on for too long. You’re both there to work at the end of the day.

If the women you’re managing are ganging up on you it’s because they want to fuck you. Laugh it off then use all of your willpower to not have sex with them.

I’m 30 and don’t have my life together. Should I start dating?

Subscriber: Med, long time first time and all that. I’m staring down the barrel of turning 30 and have realized I need to get back on the dating scene if I want a chance at marriage and a family. I have only had one girlfriend and we broke up over three years ago. I spiraled into a depressive/isolating episode that lasted another three years. Not proud of it but didn’t really know how to handle those feelings and the typical therapy/SSRI Gen Z prescription didn’t help.

I recently realized I need to take ownership of my life in order to make the future I want. I’ve been back in the gym losing weight and am working on getting my shit back together.

So, should I start dating now when I’m not in my best shape, don’t have my own place, and am not in the best place financially, or do I take the next year to get all of that figured out and then put myself back in the game?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I miss the Medcast it was dope.

Med: Women will date a guy with a few extra pounds if other boxes are checked. The shape you’re in matters less than how you feel about yourself. If you don’t feel like you have your shit together then that’s going to come off like a bad stench when you’re dating. That being said, you don’t want to wait until you have everything lined up perfectly before you start talking to women again. It isn’t all-or-nothing.

I would start talking to women now, accept that you’re going to be a bit rusty for a little while and take some L’s. Your confidence will grow as you rack up small W’s while getting your life in order.

How do I find a purpose in life?

“Finding a purpose” is a binary concept that I don’t love. The assumption is you either “found” your purpose or you didn’t. “I found my purpose. I have purpose now.”

How can you Know you found your purpose? What if it’s something you like doing at this stage in your life? What if it’s something you’re doing to avoid doing something harder but more significant? Some people lose their minds, move to the countryside, tell themselves their purpose is to be a farmer, then move back home and realize they were running away from their problems.

In my experience, you feel like you have a purpose when you’re doing something you really like doing and are making progress towards getting better at it. When you’re in this state, you feel as if you’re aligned with the universe. Some people figure this out early and do it for the rest of their lives. But that’s rare.

I think “finding a purpose” means figuring out what that thing is while being open to adapt to the volatility of life.

Subscribe now

Is it worth getting skinny enough to have thin arms but end up losing the curves of my butt and thighs?

Yes. And you won’t necessarily lose your curves. That has more to do with how your body is shaped than fat distribution. Regardless, this concern can be mitigated by doing pilates or light strength training at the gym. All women with thin arms are attractive. It’s worth it.

How do I stop my mind from being dulled by slop?

Subscriber: If you won’t mind answering, I have a question I wanted to ask you. I’ve observed that my quality of thought has reduced significantly over the years and it’s upsetting to me. I am also so exposed to slop it’s been harder to read quality stuff. How do you maintain pristineness of your thought?

Med: This is understandable and happens to a lot of people. I also feel less sharp when I’m exposed to too much slop. Whenever I start feeling that way I take a break from whatever is providing the slop. I’m no longer on X - The Slop Factory, but I used to take regular breaks there. Sometimes I’d step away for a weekend, sometimes for months at a time.

Just like how the people you spend the most time with shapes your personality, that also applies to social media. If you spend time on apps that make you feel dumb while you use them, your mind is going to deteriorate. I prefer Substack over Twitter for this reason.

Going to a museum always wakes up my mind. Reading too, of course, but being in the presence of art actives something in me that words do not. Talking to people who know me well and are willing to challenge me in good faith when they disagree with my perspective also has this effect.

What are the aspects of American culture you appreciate most vs. European culture?

Subscriber: What are the aspects of American culture you appreciate most and which ones from Mediterranean/Germanic culture?

Med: That’s a great question. I think about this often because I’ve spent a lot of time in countries with an actual culture. When I say “an actual culture”, I mean everyone eats the same food, there’s songs that everyone knows the dances to, there’s widespread agreement on gender roles, etc. This real culture takes shape from being ethnically homogenous and having a shared history.

American culture isn’t easy to define due to deep political divides and unchecked immigration over the last few decades. Immigrants bring the culture of their homeland with them and Americans no longer expect them to assimilate. If someone told me 20 years ago that the 2026 Super Bowl halftime show would be performed in Spanish, I wouldn’t have believed you.

America does have some shared values that I love. During COVID we learned that personal freedom is baked into the DNA of many Americans. Being told what to do just doesn’t work for about half the population. Americans have a natural resistance to authority. This is partially why America is such an influential and entrepreneurial country. Having the freedom to think and pursue your interests is what sparks creativity and innovation.

I also strongly value the 2nd Amendment. I believe Stand Your Ground laws should be implemented at the federal level. The idea that self-defense is a God-given right should be cherished.

I like how people are expected to mind their own business here. It’s considered rude to ask people you aren’t close friends with about their personal lives. Despite the left’s attempts to push their weird sexual fixations onto everyone else, they failed. Most Americans just want to be left alone and live their lives.

I also like how Americans value honesty and directness in communication. This is why we have such little respect for Canadians. They’re too polite and overly accommodating to be taken seriously. Americans want to know: “What wouldn’t you do if I asked you? Is there an actual person in there? Where’s your fucking spine?” These feelings also extend to the British who also prioritize politeness out of fear of being rude. Americans want you to get to the point so we can move on with our lives. There’s a ruggedness to this attitude that feels distinctly American.

Perhaps this is top of mind after of my most recent post about Indians — but Americans value being clean. Food is expected to be prepared well. One review about a bad bowel movement from a new restaurant can tank its business overnight. People are expected to shower, wear deodorant, and not smell offensive. Being a slob is looked down upon. Indoor plumbing is a given. Cleanliness isn’t a uniquely American value, but I appreciate that we have it.

When it comes to Mediterranean/Germanic culture, I will separate what I like about each.

I’ve worked with a lot of Northern Europeans, particularly Germans, and I appreciate how much they value being on time. Mediterraneans are known for being late, but I go out of my way to avoid it because I’d be deleting someone’s precious time. I also appreciate how systematically Germans think. Things needs to be in a certain order and in a certain way. It makes me understand why they’ve excelled so much in science, philosophy, and engineering.

I appreciate how Mediterraneans aren’t neurotic. We don’t worry that much but we don’t necessarily go with the flow either. There’s a sense of confidence that everything is going to be fine. There’s a warmness to this attitude that I appreciate.

I also appreciate how Mediterraneans tend to be naturally stylish and have a sex appeal that doesn’t come as naturally to other races.

Food is also taken very seriously, almost as much as the Japanese.

You posted recently about Spanish olive oil that you really loved, and it made me how familiar you are with Spanish cuisine. I went to San Sebastian for vacation and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that well in my life. Spanish cuisine is probably my favourite cuisine rn.

For reference, here is the olive oil I recommended:

I have to agree. The last time I visited Madrid I thought the same thing. As biased as I am towards Italian food, Spanish cuisine is the best in Europe right now.

I make gambas al aljillo and paella regularly at home. I need to learn how to make their croquetas at some point.

Subscribe now

Do you read any monthly/quarterly print publications?

Subscriber: What are some of your favorite quarterly/monthly/weekly print publications to read, and how do you make time in your life for properly reading analog longform? (Obviously stage of life comes into play, as my responsibilities rn are research and classes not a real job and a family/home) Besides the general decline of manners, I think there’s also something to be said for the lost art of reading periodicals “like a gentleman” as opposed to scrolling through the Atlantic or first things on your phone

Med: I have the most amount of free time in the morning. I don’t sleep much and I wake up early, usually between 5-6AM. I check my notifications sooner than I should. After I get through them, I check the Subscribed tab on Substack to see if anyone I like has written anything I might be interested in or finish what I already started reading. I read books before I fall asleep or whenever else I have spare time.

I used to have the Wall Street Journal delivered to my home and I’d read a few articles before I went to work, but I became frustrated with their political biases and ended my subscription. When I was younger I would regularly read GQ and Men’s Health etc., but normal heterosexual men aren’t their target audience anymore. I miss publications like that because they had a pulse on trends, what was going on culturally, and catered to straight men. The internet has fragmented these interests too much. I’m not sure it could be replicated unless the publications were polished and very niche.

What’s your favorite Tim Dillon rant?

Med: That’s a hard one. I like most of his rants but some that come to mind are his impression of Lex Fridman, Long Island weddings, and the rant about the kid who killed himself because ChatGPT told him to. His podcast is excellent. Tim Dillon might be the best standup comedian right now.

Coffee preferences?

Med: I use a moka pot every morning for espresso. I use Illy espresso and usually drink it straight. I think everyone should own a Bialetti. It’s another example of beautiful, supreme Italian engineering. 90% of homes in Italy have one in their kitchen. If I want to make a latte or put in the effort to make 10/10 espresso, I use a Breville Bambino Plus.

Subscribe now

When and how did you lose your virginity?

Med: I was 15 and I had sex with a woman. I wrote about the experience in detail here:

My fiance is signaling that he wants to pull back professionally and be content with less income, before we’ve even had kids. It feels like whiplash because this wasn’t who he presented himself to be when we got together. How do I navigate? He knew going in that I want to be a MILFy stay-at-home mom.

Med: That’s really not good. Unfortunately this happens to a lot of men. Some guys find a woman then they start to get too comfortable and lose their edge.

What’s good is he isn’t your husband and you don’t have kids. If this is a dealbreaker for you then you should let him know what your expectations are if you’re going to get married. If he isn’t willing to meet them, then it’s better to end things now rather than waiting until after you have kids.

Why do you not believe in waiting until marriage if it produces generally better long-term results?

The question applies differently to both sexes. Women should wait as long as they can and only sleep with men they could see fathering their children. That doesn’t necessarily mean waiting until marriage, because marriage doesn’t guarantee anything. Men on the other hand do not have an innate purity to protect and become more formidable as they gain life experience.

Women have more to lose from unfulfilling sexual experiences with the opposite sex than men do.

I wrote about this in more detail here:

Subscribe now

Related Posts

Men don’t like to talk about our sexual performance. It’s a sensitive topic. A man’s ability to control his sexual response to women is a high proxy of masculinity. Only the closest of friends will admit when they were a two-pump chump or couldn’t get it up.

Ideally, we want to fuck women well — but fears about being compared to past lovers or how she might react if we “lose it” can be paralyzing. Sexual anxiety is such a powerful force that it can cause us to cum far too quickly.

Most sexual performance issues aren’t solved by mechanical tricks like edging or kegel exercises, because the real issue is fear. We become better in bed when we stop treating sex like a test and start treating it like an intimate act of dominance, attention, and pleasure. Performance issues are usually psychological, not physical.

Subscribe now

The pressure on us to perform well sexually is a good thing. Sex should be as pleasurable as possible for as long as possible. This possibility falls on men because our refractory periods are vastly different.

Men have simpler orgasms than women. We also have one kind: we get excited quickly, have an intense orgasm, then get tired. Depending on how old you are, you might be ready to go again in a few minutes, after a nap, or not at all.

Women, on the other hand, can have multiple types of orgasms. To simplify the above chart — women can have an orgasm similar to men, an orgasm without fully dropping, or plateau for far longer with multiple peaks. Women have a much slower buildup and don’t have a refractory period. Women can cum over and over and over and never get tired of it.

The heights of euphoria are reached when men and women cum at the same time. A man’s ability to look at a woman and know he can do whatever he wants to her, for as long as he wants, and fully bask in the moment with her until he’s ready to finish, unlocks a confidence and sexual prowess that expands to every other area of life. This power can’t be unlocked until his fears are overcome.

Read more

The H-1B Visa program was created for companies that needed foreign workers with specialized knowledge, but that’s not how it’s used. If a manager needs cheap labor, they can hire an Indian with an H-1B visa.3 The applicants often lie about their experience to get approved then engage in nepotism after they’re hired.4 Decades of abuse have made Indians significantly more successful in the tech industry than they otherwise would be.

In my hometown, you could buy a 3-bedroom house twenty years ago for $300K-$500K. Like many middle-class neighborhoods, those homes are now worth $1M+. I was recently informed those properties are being bought up by Indians, in cash, then they pack the houses with 10-12 of their extended family members. My once-homogeneous hometown isn’t thrilled about this.

Indians’ refusal to assimilate to the American way of life only makes their situation worse.

Subscribe now

India and America are cultural opposites. Americans value individualism, Indians are collectivist. Americans value transparency, Indians prioritize saving face. Americans are primarily Christian, Indians are primarily Hindu.

Hygienically, Indians are from another universe. In 2014, over 600 million Indians were still defecating outdoors. This became such a public health hazard that the Indian government had to launch a campaign to convince them why they should poop indoors. Americans use indoor plumbing.

Indians cook with spices so pungent that it doesn’t just seep into their skin and clothes, it penetrates the walls. Ask landlords who have rented to Indians or tenants who have followed Indian families. It can take months of deep cleaning, or even demolition, to fully get the smell out. Americans prioritize not smelling offensive.

Indians are far more invasive in how they communicate. Indians have more enmeshed families (hence packing 12 people into a 3 bedroom house), so it’s normal for them to probe about private information like salary and marriage details. Americans consider it offensive to even ask. Americans also prefer 2-3 feet of distance to feel comfortable while talking to someone, whereas Indians stand or sit too close for anyone’s liking.

These vast cultural differences combined with widespread economic abuse can only persist in the same country for so long. Eventually there will be a breaking point. If Indian abuse of the American economy isn’t fully curtailed and reversed — it will become acceptable for Americans to be openly hostile towards Indians.

This might sound unlikely given how much racism is frowned upon in America. Explicit racism is considered uncouth, vulgar, and rude to most people in polite society, which it usually is. Merely being accused of racism could shatter your professional prospects. But these values come with conditions.

In America, some groups are coveted more than others. Black people are the most protected group by far. The primary slur against black people is so powerful that most people won’t even let themselves think it. If you’ve noticed any patterns in black behavior that you dislike, articulating it immediately puts your reputation at risk.

Jewish people are the second most protected group. You can tell Jewish people are less protected than black people because you can freely reference ‘Jews’ out loud without turning around to make sure nobody hears you (“unless you put a little stank on it”, to quote Louis CK). While America’s questionable relationship with Israel is causing more anti-Jewish sentiments, being accused of antisemitism can still have irreversible reputational costs.

You might notice a similarity between black and Jewish people: both of them have a historical victim narrative. In case you haven’t heard — black people used to be slaves and Jewish people were killed in the Holocaust. Black and Jewish people are also contributors to American culture. From Miles Davis to Michael Jackson to Jay-Z — the influence of black musicians on American culture is undeniable. Jewish people’s impact on the film industry, TV shows and comedy is also obvious. If Hitler had a bacon egg and cheese on an everything bagel while hungover in downtown Manhattan, he might have looked the other way.

Indians don’t have a historical victim narrative and their influence on American culture is negligible. Many Indians are proud of their overwhelming presence in Silicon Valley (the CEOs of Google, Microsoft, IBM, Adobe, and YouTube are all Indian) — but Indians aren’t innovators. They’re managers. Running a company isn’t nearly as impressive as inventing world-changing technology. When people think of American innovation, they think of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, not Satya Nadella and Sundar Pichai. “Butter Chicken” isn’t enough to get them over the finish line.

As hostility towards Indians continues to rise, the affluent white liberals you saw cheering on black people burning down cities for George Floyd will be silent in comparison. The Trump administration signed an executive order in 2025 to investigate antisemitism in universities. That’s unlikely to happen for anti-Indian sentiments. Without the 1-2 punch of victimhood and cultural impact, accusations of racism towards your group will fall on deaf ears.

• Quirk Chungus couples

• Not blackpilling on marriage

• High-quality bedding

• My favorite scents on women

• Escaping “changing consumer habits”

• My prediction on the dating landscape in 20 years

Paid subscribers can ask me anything by joining my chat or DMing me directly.

Subscribe now

Enjoy 🤍

Quick Chungus Couples

Subscriber:

how do you define the categories of sex

you mentioned before there is great sex, life changing sex, or avg sex and couples making 4/10 whoopies

especially the higher forms of sex, i’m interested in knowing how they happen and how do you make it happen

Med:

Here is the Note they’re referring to for reference:

I don’t have a set of categories, but in the above post I’m talking about the difference between obligatory and passionate sex.

The millennial couple who resemble a pair of roommates more than lovers is best described in the below meme:

Quick Chungus couples aren’t particularly attractive, their personalities are either annoying or nonexistent, and they don’t inspire passion in anyone. As a result, they’re having obligatory sex. They’re having sex with each other’s bodies merely to scratch the itch of horniness. They’ve been told that’s what they’re supposed to do every few months. A lot of couples fall into this category.

In terms of how I think about passionate sex, I would read this if you haven’t already.

Not Blackpilling on Marriage

Subscriber:

Hello Med,

I’ve got a question that might be deemed somewhat childish and idiotic, but I have been thinking about it for years, and I trust your intuition so I wanted to ask your opinion on it.

I’ve grown up in a family where my parents have constantly argued about the weight my mother has gained due to a neurological disease she got diagnosed with few years into her marriage. My father was never able to accommodate the fact that my mother was no longer going to be the fit hot woman that he desired. His resentment towards her grew and grew. Now they both hate each other.

This has always made me question marriage. Obviously, the woman’s physical attractiveness is significant to any man. That’s normal. But how significant should it be over the long run? And more importantly what happens when you both grow 20 years older and she is not that hot anymore? Do you give up on sex at that age and just enjoy the fruits of having a family? Do you take a mistress? How should a man approach the decay of his woman’s beauty over time?

Med:

I’m not old enough to say based on experience, but I can say with certainty that when you truly love someone, you become more attracted to them over time and the sex gets better and better the more you trust each other.

I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your parents. I understand why it would make you question marriage. However, that’s a rare case. Women should stay in shape for the sake of the relationship, and most women who truly love their husbands commit to this, but in this case it was out of her hands.

Physical attraction is always important, but I believe true love keeps attraction intact regardless of how you age. I don’t know what your parents relationship is like, but I assume there might have been other issues at play in addition to the weight gain. True love is rare.

High-Quality Bedding

Subscriber:

Hello Med, I really enjoyed reading the 2025 article about cooking and food, in which you mentioned that food and sleep are your top priorities. As such, you’ve recommended some kitchen tools - could you please recommend sleeping tools much in the same vein: bed, mattress, etc.? Thank you

Med:

I’m not an expert on good sleeping habits because I don’t sleep much. 6 hours in a night is rare for me. But I strongly believe in not skimping when it comes to bedding given you spend 1/3 of your life in bed.

I’ve been using these pillows for well over a decade. I’ve only had to replace them a few times. I stuff them 2-3x a year to make sure they don’t cave into themselves over time; that brand sells the material on the side. I like silk pillowcases. For sheets and duvet covers, I really like tencel material. A lot of different brands make high quality tencel. I use a Helix mattress. My bed feels like a cloud.

My Favorite Scents on Women

Subscriber:

Hey Med, if I’m remembering correctly, you’ve listed some colognes you like to wear some time ago. What are some of your favorite scents on a woman? Additionally, are there certain scent profiles (gourmands, aquatics, orientals, florals) that complement any of your categories of female attractiveness?

Med: I wanted to give a proper answer here, so I blind tested twenty different fragrances and ranked them 1-10. She popped my answers into ChatGPT to give a summary of my taste.

This person has a very specific modern niche-fragrance taste profile. Their preferences lean heavily toward:

Skin scents
Warm woody ambers
Airy musks
Soft gourmand sweetness
Minimalist “your skin but better” fragrances

She has a very distinct collection and asked me not to post my #1 favorite. But one of my favorites is Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille. I wear it myself but I also think it smells incredible on women.

Escaping Changing Consumer Habits

Subscriber:

Hey Med, a question for the next round of responses:

In your view, which, if any, parts of America are still free of ever-encroaching “changing consumer habits” and their nasty proponents?

Med:

Here is the Note they’re referring to for reference:

I like cities, which are full of America’s Little Rascals, so I’m not an expert in this area. But from what I’ve seen, wealthy all-white neighborhoods who vote overwhelmingly liberal tend to have the least amount of them. Go figure.

My Prediction on the Dating Landscape in 20 Years

Do you think the dating situation would change for young men in their early 20s 20 years from now?

20 years is a long time from now. A lot will change. But based on where things stand today — there will likely be a sharp cultural divide between people who went all-in on letting AI run their lives and those who incorporated into their lives in a balanced way.

The former group will be content with never thinking again, never experiencing physical reality again, and never needing to put effort into anything. They will be content with their UBI paychecks. A lot of Americans are already like this, as perfectly articulated by .

The people in the former category will die out. The people in the latter category will have an extremely easy time dating, and will probably reproduce at a significantly higher rate than most people do today.

Subscribe now

Related Posts

I never had much respect for Tucker until 2020. I always saw him as a pompous neocon dork who wore a bowtie. But during the peak of COVID insanity, his viral monologues made him an authoritative and level-headed voice on the right.

However, after Tucker was fired from Fox News and launched the Tucker Carlson Network on YouTube, he started to change. His personality has become difficult to bare. He’s one-dimensional, predictable, and annoyingly agreeable with his guests regardless of how vapid they can be. Tucker has always been a bit sassy, but over the last few years — he’s become a meme of himself.

“Like, what IS that?!”

Subscribe now

Tucker also makes bold claims about topics that are completely unprovable. He’ll frantically claim UFOs are demons that live all around us, then finish the sentence with a passive-aggressive “obviously.”

I often find myself thinking: “No, Tucker. None of what you just said is remotely obvious to anyone.”

It’s becoming harder to take Tucker Carlson seriously.

As my subscribers know, I find all of this nonsense about demons to be incoherent. People who blame human behavior they dislike on “demons” tend to embarrass themselves. For example, Tucker claimed he was physically attacked by a demon in his sleep and has the scars to prove it — while in the same breath admitted he lets four big dogs sleep in his bed. In his recent interview with The New York Times, he said Donald Trump casts spells on people.

I’m also skeptical of his sudden religious fervor; not because I don’t think Tucker is genuinely a Christian (who am I to say), but I strongly dislike how he uses Christianity as a cover to avoid saying things with his full chest. For example:

It’s understandable to be cynical about talking heads on the internet. Most of them just pander to their audience for YouTube revenue. But it’s unhealthy to assume nobody has genuine beliefs. That’s too nihilistic, even for me.

I agree with Tucker on the issues he sticks his neck out for. He speaks out against Trump and Israel’s war on Iran. He even confronted Trump privately before criticizing him publicly. He’s also been consistently anti-war since he visited Iraq, a war he was a fervent propagandist for. Since then he frequently confesses he did a terrible thing and apologizes for it on a regular basis. At times I find him to be courageous and admirable.

Tucker is on the right side of some very important issues. He’s strongly against mass immigration, rampant crime in American cities, and Israel’s stronghold over American politicians.

Tucker also criticizes “the deep state.” While it isn’t clear exactly who he’s talking about, I interpret it to mean the people who want to give violent black people a free pass and push for endless wars. In that sense, I’m just as against the same people as he is.

But Tucker isn’t afraid to delve into conspiracy theory crazy-land. His YouTube audience can’t gobble up enough of that content (just look at Candace Owens’ views per video), so perhaps he is just pandering to them. But he also lives a very secluded life. He might just be a guy who moved to rural Maine and went off the deep end.

I believe Tucker is straddling the line between being authentic and intentionally shoring up a cult of conspiracy-brained internet addicts as he plans to run for President in 2032.

Tucker Carlson is a very important political figure. His podcast is often #1 in the country and the President reacts to his opinions. Whether or not he has political ambitions long-term, he’s extremely influential. It’s important to keep an eye on him. While Tucker might be well-intentioned, it isn’t clear exactly who he is or what he’s up to. That gives me reason to be wary of him.

Subscribe now

Anthropic recently built an AI model called Claude Mythos that is apparently so sophisticated at detecting and exploiting vulnerabilities in browsers, operating systems, and other critical software that they decided it shouldn’t be released. They were so convinced that if it ended up in the wrong hands, it could pose major risks to the economy, public safety, and national security. Its release remains on hold until tech behemoths like Microsoft, Google, Apple, and Amazon give Anthropic the green light.

I take dystopian AI narratives with a grain of salt. But given the rapid speed at which AI is progressing — it’s feasible that AI could find security loopholes across multiple websites and social media platforms that ultimately expose everyone’s information. It could even create a public database of everyone who has ever used the internet. If someone were to look up your name in this scenario, they would see everything you’ve ever said online. Yes, everyone would be fucked. But given this risk — people should take the proper precautions to reduce potential damage.

If you post under your real name, then you’re probably willing to muffle your true beliefs to protect your reputation. But if you post anonymously, then you still have to worry about your identity being exposed. Everyone should be concerned about the major security risks posed by AI.

Protecting your identity means more than just using an anonymous name and profile picture. It means completely severing your online life from your personal life. You must also ensure you aren’t leaving “breadcrumbs” — small pieces of information that can connect the two. Plenty of people are great at picking up these breadcrumbs. AI will be even better at it.

There’s a wide range of precautions you can take to protect your identity. The most extreme option is to not use the internet at all or delete all of your social media accounts. But that’s unrealistic. I prefer a more grounded approach while still being hypervigilant. In this post I will talk about the apps, methods, and common sense I use to have tight internet security and remain completely anonymous.

Assess Your Threat Model

If you live in the real world, it’s impossible to use the internet without revealing your identity. If you have a credit card, use Amazon, or shop online — your information is out there. Just Google your real name with your city and state. There’s thousands of data brokers who collect this information and sell it.

There’s also different risk levels. I’m a well-known anonymous account with controversial opinions, so I have to be more diligent than average. If you’re a small account who doesn’t attract much attention, then you probably have less to worry about. Regardless, in the case of an untamable AI security breach, I recommend taking the below precautions.

Disconnect Your Double Life

I strongly advise against posting under your real name on Instagram or Facebook while running anonymous accounts. This significantly raises your risk. That being said, if you’re already doing this, there’s no need to panic. Run through the below list to make sure your anonymous account and real life accounts aren’t connected in any way.

Interacting with other people online is inevitable. Stay extremely cautious anyway. Even your closest mutuals can become compromised, leak details, or turn on you. I’m also not suggesting you shouldn’t make friends online. But regardless of how trustworthy someone seems, you should remain skeptical, lean on the side of caution, and use your best judgement. Trust your gut.

Your anonymous account should also be completely clean. If it fails any of the below criteria, then it isn’t clean. Here are the basics of account hygiene:

• Account is linked to an email address that doesn’t include your name (yourname@gmail.com). You can create burner emails for free.

• Your anonymous account has been completely anonymous from the beginning. Which means:

  • Your original username didn’t include your real name or other information about you. Many people have been doxxed this way. They started with an anonymous account that was originally their real-life account. The username was something like “@realname” or something equally revealing. If you fall into this category, I strongly recommend deleting your anonymous account.

  • You weren’t posting things that could be linked to your identity (posting about where you went to school, where you work, etc.).

    • Keep in mind - if you’ve posted that you live in NYC, then it isn’t catastrophic. A city of 9 million people is too broad to pinpoint anyone. But it becomes dangerous when combined with other details.

  • If you’ve only been posting privately under a locked account but were being loose about your information in your posts or DMs, I recommend deleting the account, regardless of how much you may trust the people who follow you. If nobody follows you, your level of risk is significantly lower.

  • You’ve never cross-posted the same photo, opinion, or story on both accounts. If you’re unsure whether you’ve done this, review your old posts or use a tool like tweetdelete.net to wipe everything and start clean.

Some of above suggestions might be seen as extreme. How much you’re willing to deviate from them is up to you and how you assess your risk level.

Tight Internet Security

Hackers are getting more sophisticated at phishing schemes. Just look at what happened to ’s Substack and X accounts recently.

This is where having very tight internet security comes into play, which is different than having tight OPSEC (Operational Security). Internet security is making sure your accounts are as hack-proof as possible. OPSEC is making sure your identity is as un-doxxable as possible. You can have the tightest OPSEC in the world, but if someone can easily log into your accounts — they can dox you.

VPN

In general, it’s wise to use a VPN to mask your IP address. However, this can slow your connection and sometimes certain sites won’t allow you to access it with a VPN turned on. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t have it on at all times, but to reduce risk, you should have a VPN on as often as possible.

Passwords

What’s more important is making sure nobody can log into your accounts except you. First and foremost, you must use a Password Manager. If you’re using the same password for everything, or have a little system in your mind, it’s extremely exploitable. Password Managers will create a long string of numbers, letters, and symbols as your password, and makes it easy to use a different complicated password for each site.

I also strongly recommend using 2FA (2 Factor Authentication) for all of your logins. You should use the 6 digit authenticator codes linked to an authenticator app, which is pre-installed in most password managers.

Tip: if the password manager you use isn’t supported by the site’s 2FA policy, select “enter code manually”, and it will give you a long string of letters. Enter that into your password manager, and the 2FA codes will appear.

Never link 2FA to your phone number. It creates a serious vulnerability — if an attacker hijacks your SIM card, they can receive all your codes. Most sites offer 2FA now. If the only option is to use a phone number, create a free burner number online instead.

The above guide for passwords is mandatory.

Remove Yourself From Internet Archives + Google Yourself

If you want to delete your social media history, beyond merely deleting accounts, you should search for the URL of your account on the Wayback Machine. If a bad actor wanted to clip something you said for future use against you, they posted it here. If you send them an email with a legal notice requesting the takedown, they usually don’t ask many questions and take it down promptly. Ask AI to write this up for you.

Also, and I admit this is extreme — reach out to companies you have logins with but no longer use and request they delete your data. That’s different than merely deactivating your account. If you send them a legal notice, they will respond in a few days and confirm deletion.

Lastly, and most importantly — Google yourself. If there’s websites that have written things about you, request they be taken down. I’m not suggesting you need to have a completely empty Google search, but keep in mind that it’s a vulnerability risk.

I strongly recommend using Incogni. If you provide it with your name, phone number, and previous addresses, it will scour the internet for all of the data brokers that sell your data and legally request they take it down on your behalf. I’m not being paid to promote this.

Conclusion and AI’s Feedback

As I mentioned earlier, this post contains two essays: the one you just read, and the second I published 4 years ago. The second goes into more depth, and you can tell from the language it’s a bit outdated.

I wrote this to help people who might be concerned about future AI risks and want to better protect their identity. To have minimum viable OPSEC, aside from password protection, you can use your best judgement as to how far you’re willing to go based on your risk level.

To make this guide as robust as possible, I even ran it by Grok (yes — I asked AI for help protecting myself from AI). I will never publish anything I know nothing about or don’t have strong opinions on, so I copy and pasted exactly what it fed back to me.

I hope you found this helpful.

Read more

If I had Boomer Derangement Syndrome, I would say:

“Boomers are slaves to the television.”

“Boomers are liberals because they worship the Civil Rights Act.”

“Boomers hoard all of the wealth.”

“Boomers only care about spending their money on ‘living their best life.’”

“Boomers don’t realize the world is harder than the one they grew up in.”

“Boomers are the reason I’m not wealthy. Boomers destroyed America.”

In this post I will discuss which issues Boomers deserve to be blamed for, and which they don’t. To start, lets review these accusations objectively.

“Boomers are slaves to the television.”

This is true.

Boomers watch significantly more TV than any other generation.1

“Boomers are liberals because they worship the Civil Rights Act.”

While Boomers tend to lean progressive, they’re moderates in comparison to Gen Z. 68% of Zoomers support DEI in the workplace, compared to only 52% of Boomers.2

Boomers also consistently vote Republican more reliably than Millennials and Zoomers.3 They also favor the death penalty and mass deportations more than younger generations.4

“Boomers hoard all of the wealth.”

The sentiment is extremely popular. 82% of Zoomers and 75% of Millennials blame Boomers for their financial problems. To add fuel to the fire, Boomers are 3x less likely than Gen X to recognize their financial decisions have an impact on younger generations.5

This is where the topic gets complicated, and requires an understanding of money.

Indeed, Boomers own most of the wealth.6

At first glance, you might assume there was an imaginary treasure chest filled with beachfront properties, luxury cars and expensive jewelry set aside for Millennials and Zoomers, but the greedy Boomers just came in and took it. You also might assume Boomers won’t sell their homes at a discount because they’re uniquely evil.

But that simply isn’t the case.

Read more

Given their controversial nature, these are available to Founding Members only.

Enjoy 🤍

Consider becoming a Founding Member for full access to The Twitter Vault.

Subscribe now

Read more

Consider becoming a Founding Member for full access to The Twitter Vault.

Subscribe now

Enjoy 🤍

Read more