In case you don’t want to read or watch the interview, here’s the summary:

Louise states that the sexual revolution, defined as the normalization of casual sex enabled by the birth control pill, ignores how women bear the risk of unplanned pregnancies while men have a stronger drive for casual sex. She states that early radical feminists like Andrea Dworkin were too extreme, leading to “heteropessimism” and low birth rates among feminists.

She then explains how social media exacerbates gender division by exposing each other to locker room talk and female gossip, causing young women to become radicalized against men while young men develop a hostility towards women.

The interview leads to Ross asking Louise why it’s a good thing that modern men need to actively help women pursue their careers while being mothers. I was in agreement with most of her positions throughout the interview, but this is where she finally lost me.

“Happy Wife, Happy Life” is a destructive and false myth grounded in a warped understanding of attraction.

Louise and most feminists frame men and women as two figurines playing house. The plot typically sounds like this:

The man is a potential violent rapist. If properly socialized by a feminist society, he might possibly overcome his wicked nature and evolve into a nice guy who sees women as equals.

The woman is a potential corporate titan, but she’s burdened by her biology as a potential mother. If only she would meet a nice guy, her dreams of becoming a mother and corporate titan can be achieved simultaneously.

This understanding of men and women is completely twisted.

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Women’s stated versus revealed preferences confirm they’re more attracted to men who lean misogynist than outright male feminists. A 2019 study showed that women are more attracted to men who display benevolent yet sexist attitudes towards women over men who are more egalitarian.1 Given these men see women as distinctly different from them despite being chauvinistic — women perceive them as more willing to invest, protect, and commit to them.

Multiple studies have shown that both men and women report lower life satisfaction and relationship quality when women are the breadwinners, compared to when men are the breadwinners or there’s a dual-earner arrangement.2 Women also report being more attracted to men with higher earning capacity, income, ambition, and resources. These findings have been replicated across cultures.3 This shows that women tend to be more attracted to men who embody the hunter-provider instinct.

“Happy Wife, Happy Life” has been proven false. A large-scale longitudinal 2022 study found that men and women’s satisfaction are equally strong predictors of overall relationship satisfaction4. This shouldn’t be surprising. If you truly love someone, their happiness will make you happy. Any relationship that is solely one-sided is doomed to breed resentment.

It’s fair that feminists want women to have the right to pursue their ambitions, but this is an outdated concern. Women have been emancipated and are now fully participating in the labor market. Since then, men and women are more polarized than ever. This suggests that merely enabling women’s career ambitions doesn’t bring men and women closer. If anything, the data on female sexual attraction contradicts the feminist ideal of the male egalitarian. Until feminists like Louise Perry actually grapple with this contradiction, their recommendations on how to move forward will remain hollow.

Feminists often have good intentions, but they don’t incorporate the reality of female sexual attraction into their philosophy. It’s impossible to assess the present circumstances of women without being honest about their sexual nature. If feminists want to offer more coherent solutions to the gender divide, they should start being more honest about which kind of men they are attracted to, and why.

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Here are a few recent posts that paid subscribers have been reading:

Also, in case you were a former listener — Medcast is back:

These (and over 120 others) are only available to paid subscribers.

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• 00:36: Why I left Twitter

• 4:38: How I built my own Twitter archive without knowing how to code

• 7:59: How to actually use AI effectively and Marc Andreesen’s master prompt

• 11:33: My experience after a year on Retatrutide

• 15:36: Why I don’t trust JD Vance

• 21:11: Why sake is the superior way to consume alcohol

• 22:34: Why Kill Bill is Tarantino’s best film

• 25:57: How I handle breakups and radical transformation through grief

• 30:30: Should men go to therapy? Psychoanalysis vs. cognitive behavioral therapy, Tony Soprano & Dr. Melfi, male vs. female therapists

• 36:53: My experience with shrooms and molly

• 42:33: How to maintain sanity on social media without losing yourself

• 47:44: True friends vs. cheerleaders

• 53:30: Overcoming an inferiority complex from childhood

• 56:24: My favorite unreleased John Mayer tracks

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There’s little reason to argue during the early stages of dating, amidst the depths of pure bliss — but after the ecstasy inevitably wears off, many couples find themselves wondering: “What happened to us?” Daily instances of bickering, belittling, and score-keeping wear down their romantic dynamic. Unspoken frustrations tighten into a knot of anger and agitation. Then suddenly, one of you presses the wrong button and all of your grievances rise to the surface. The discussion flies off the rails and it feels like you’re speaking different languages while circling a bottomless drain.

Soon, an ugly fight ignites. You’re at war — whoever inflicts the most emotional pain wins, and whoever breaks down first loses. You say things you regret and apologize later, but some words can’t be unsaid. You wish you could just go back to the way things were, but deep down you know that won’t happen.

Persistent fighting originates from the exact moment you realize they aren’t the person you fell in love with. Maybe they frequently disappoint you, your values aren’t aligned, or they remind you a little too much of your second favorite parent — but you didn’t see this coming. You’re deep into the relationship with this different version of them, and you feel stuck. Even on good days, a fight can erupt at any moment. You can never fully relax because you’re walking on eggshells in your own home. Resentment begins to take shape. They leave the room and you feel a sense of relief.

When you like someone, you want to hear how they feel when problems arise. Your ego becomes second priority to bringing everything back to homeostasis. You want to understand them better because you genuinely enjoy their presence. They make you laugh easily. You want them around more than anyone. When they’re near you, you feel at ease. Months, years, and decades go by and you still miss them when they go to the bathroom.

If you let yourself be blinded by infatuation, you’ll never know who they really are underneath the early stages of romance. It’s possible to find a relationship that doesn’t feel like a project, but a sanctuary.

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People reveal their true colors when their world is turned upside down. It’s hard to wear a mask when there’s death in the family, a job loss, or even during a vacation where everything goes wrong. How people manage volatility reveals how they see their place in the world, their expectations, and their resolve. The person you fell in love with might turn into a monster you didn’t know existed, or they may rise to the occasion and show you how strong they can be. This is who they really are at their core. You can only learn this with time.

It’s easy to ignore red flags during the early stages because you’re still in ecstasy. You don’t want the raw excitement to wear off. You lie to yourself in order to stop thinking about it. “They’re just having a bad day. Nobody’s perfect.” Instead of being honest and telling them how it made you feel, you just made life harder for your future self.

For example, perhaps you’re frugal with money and they’re irresponsible with it. Their big spending makes you nervous. You want to express this to them, but you’ve only been dating a few weeks. Your relationship isn’t in a place where you can talk to them about their spending habits yet. The best thing to do is put this problem on the shelf and bring it up when they seem approachable. Raise the topic in a way that isn’t confrontational. Mention that you’re staying in tonight because you need to plan your finances for the next few months. Ask them if they do the same. If they say no, ask why from a curious place. Take a mental note of their response. You don’t necessarily need to end the relationship, but at least the red flag has been confirmed.

Red flags are important. They’re indicators of our inner world. To you, spending money feels like wasting resources. To them, buying things feels like being loved. If you end up getting married you will need to discuss how you’re going to manage finances. If these differences aren’t addressed, the conversation could head to an irrational place very quickly. You won’t see eye-to-eye because they didn’t know you felt this way. They might accuse you of being controlling. You might accuse them of being a bad role model to the kids. You’ll wish they could just understand what you mean, even for a second. A problem that should be easy to solve will feel like pulling teeth. A seed for future fights has been planted.

Another example is how they manage their past. If every ex was crazy and they never did anything wrong, don’t blindly believe them. Notice if this is a consistent narrative in their life. You might be dating the most fun victim in the world, but whether you should date them long-term is something to reconsider. If they still keep in touch with their exes and you let it slide in the beginning, I guarantee your feelings about that are going to fester. You’ll always wonder what they’re up to on their phone. This needs to be nipped in the bud or you’re setting yourself up for a future of jealousy and unnecessary insecurity.

If the distance between your souls is too vast, you won’t have opportunities to grow together. The relationship will stagnate or decline from its highest point. It will feel like a long-term project of managing each other’s insecurities and defense mechanisms.

These problems don’t need to exist. Good relationships aren’t hanging by a thread. If who they really are is complementary or even slightly challenging to you, then you will grow to like them more over time. Your similar approach to life will breed opportunities to learn from each other. A relationship should make your life better, not worse. Every day isn’t going to be 10 out of 10, but it should average to an 8 out of 10. Anything less, there’s a high chance you’d be happier without them.

If you often find yourself fantasizing about how simple things were when you were single, you probably picked the wrong person. If you feel your life would be empty without them, you probably picked the right one.

I’m not saying new relationships shouldn’t be exciting, but don’t be so convinced you’ve found The One too quickly. If they actually are The One, that feeling will still exist even when life throws wrenches at them. Don’t believe that good relationships aren’t possible due to failed relationships of the past, or how you see other couples behave.

A good relationship requires genuinely liking the person beyond the perfect image you initially projected onto them. If you’re actually compatible, you won’t have to force yourself to like them. When love and like are combined, there’s an unspoken optimism that you will never let the relationship deteriorate. Making each other happy becomes your top priority. Liking is the difference between a battlefield and a home.

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• Bush or no bush?

• How do I attract a Slavic girl?

• How do I stop attracting women who aren’t over their ex?

• My girlfriend does nude modeling. Should I be nervous?

• What is the proper Hinge etiquette for women?

• Where should an attractive 37-year old attractive woman meet men?

• How do you manage women in the workplace?

• I’m 30 and don’t have my life together. Should I start dating?

• How do I find a purpose in life?

• Is it worth getting skinny enough to have thin arms but end up losing the curves of my butt and thighs?

• How do I stop my mind from being dulled by slop?

• What are the aspects of American culture you appreciate most vs. European culture?

• What do you think about Spanish cuisine?

• Do you read any monthly/quarterly print publications?

• What is your favorite Tim Dillon rant?

• What kind of coffee do you prefer?

• When and how did you lose your virginity?

• How should I handle my fiancé who wants to be content with making less money?

• Why do you not believe in waiting until marriage if it produces generally better long-term results?

Paid subscribers can ask me anything by joining my chat or DMing me directly.

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Bush or no bush?

Med: No bush. Never bush. Not a fan of the landing strip either, it’s goofy. A little stubble after a few days is fine, I’m a reasonable man — but body hair is manly.

If it were up to me, all women would have mandatory laser hair removal everywhere below the eyelashes. Nothing worse than a beautiful pussy covered in hair. It’s is like putting an afro on top of the Mona Lisa. What are you doing?

How do I attract a Slavic girl?

Med: I’m going to show you a few posts about Slavic women that could help with this.

My girlfriend does nude modeling. Should I be nervous?

Subscriber: Hey Med. My current girlfriend has been doing nude modeling for a figure drawing class for the last 2 years. We’ve been together for about 9 months and she did it once since we have been together. We talked about it before and she basically said that im the one fucking her and there is no one else who gets access to her the way that i do. The problem for me is shes very physically gifted (hot) and i know there is AT LEAST one guy in the class that gets aroused seeing her with no clothing. She’s now modeling for another class next week and I’m starting to feel some anxiety about it again. Have you dealt with anything like this? I know women get sexualized just by walking down the street but willingly standing naked in front of 15+ people (mainly the men im concerned about) just provides even more entertainment for them.

Med: I haven’t been in this exact situation but I dated a girl who dressed a little too revealing for my liking. I told her I didn’t like it and she stopped.

The fact that she was doing this before started dating indicates that she isn’t shit testing you, it might be something she enjoys doing. From her perspective, she probably likes having her body being treated like a work of art. I would try to replicate what she’s experiencing. If you don’t draw, tell her you want to take nude pictures of her. Get a nice camera, make it about more than just having nudes on your iPhone. That could be a good replacement for what she’s feeling as she’s being drawn. If she likes that but still insists on going, then it’s time to have a conversation.

That being said, she isn’t single anymore. Part of being in a relationship is sacrificing things you did when you were single to be considerate to the person you’re dating. If this a dealbreaker for you, then you need to tell her that. However, how you say it matters more than what you say. It’s important that you don’t sound insecure or controlling while having the conversation. Simply tell her that it doesn’t work for you. If she says it’s a dealbreaker for her to do nude modeling, then unfortunately the relationship isn’t going to work and you should tell her it’s over.

If you trust her enough and think there’s nothing funny going on and you can live with it, then trust your gut. But be honest with yourself. If it’s always going to bother you, this is going to cause problems in the future.

The way I see it is if I’m dating a girl, she’s mine, which means her body is mine. Only I’m allowed to see her naked. Personally I wouldn’t allow it.

How do I stop attracting women who aren’t over their ex?

Subscriber: How do I stop getting with girls that aren’t over their ex. It seems to be a big phenomenon with every girl I get with I don’t know if I just have a “rebound guy” look or whatever but it’s a big problem in my dating life. 20(M)

Med: I wouldn’t think too much about it. They could just be yapping or complaining about their ex, which is normal. That doesn’t necessarily mean they were alphawidowed.

I wouldn’t let the topic linger for too long though. You don’t want to end up in the friendzone. Let her bitch about him, listen to her, then lightly dunk on him to separate yourself from him. This make it clear you aren’t him and communicates that you’re interested in her romantically/sexually without saying it explicitly. You can always say that too.

If you’re often the rebound guy, that means they don’t see long-term potential with you but see sex in the short-term. There’s worse positions to be in. If you’d rather be seen as boyfriend/husband material then ask yourself if giving off vibes that say you’re only there for a fun time and not a long time. There’s a balance to strike between both.

What is proper Hinge etiquette for women?

Subscriber: Hey, loved your essay today. I have a companion question for your AMA. What is the etiquette with accepting likes?

Hinge put me back in rotation this week so I’m getting likes again. But I’m running into the same scenario everyone is always complaining about, you match and then there’s no conversation. At all.

A guy sends a like. I accept. Now we can chat. Hinge says it’s “my turn.” But is it? I feel like once I accept a like that’s an invitation for him to talk to me. Like I did my part, but are they expecting me to start the conversation? Some start the conversation of course, but a lot don’t. But then they don’t unmatch either. I wouldn’t be wondering if they just unmatched.

And if their initial “like” is a comment, then am I *really* expected to start the conversation once we match?

Med: A lot of guys don’t know how to start the conversation and are indeed hoping you will start it, but that doesn’t mean you should. The man should always initiate the conversation. You should only initiate if you’re really interested in him. That being said, if his like was a comment, then he technically started the conversation and you should respond. You don’t need to change the subject or talk about something new, but you should respond to his comment at least.

I know it’s against your nature to initiate, but that’s sometimes how the back-and-forth works on the apps. You have nothing to lose either way.

Attractive, never married, childless 37-year-old woman (girl?) here. Very social, loves to have fun, civic-minded and involved in the community. Catholic but not too weird about it. Hyperfeminine in presentation/appearance. Where should I meet men? PS I love your work.

Med: I’m not an expert on where to meet men but I can tell you my philosophy on meeting people in general. There isn’t a specific place or app where you’re more likely to meet an interesting person. People are everywhere. Some of those people are boring as sin and some of those people are fascinating. Go to places you genuinely like. If you happen to meet someone there, great. If not, at least you still had a good time.

How do you manage women in the workplace?

Subscriber: Med, you’ve mentioned before your leadership experience in the workplace and that leading men is different than woman. How do you recommend to lead and manage women in the workplace?

I work in Marketing and it’s skews female. Teams of girls I’ve managed can be petty, can gossip, can get offended easily. They can team up on you because you’re the guy, because you are competent and get shit done.

Med: Managing women at work requires a completely different skill set than managing men. The idea that men and women should be treated the same at work is moronic. Accepting that women have certain tendencies like gossiping and teaming up on guys makes it easier to manage them. It’s in their nature. You can’t do anything about it. You also need to have a lighter touch when critiquing their work or guiding them, whereas with men you can be a little more direct.

The most frustrating part about working in an office is how easily offended women can be. Businesses are competitive both internally and externally by nature. Everyone is competing against each other to outshine everyone else. If the office were all men, the environment would feel more competitive by way of shit talking and bragging. Work would be more fun and higher octane. Co-ed working environments make that impossible. Men have to basically castrate themselves in order to not ruffle the feathers of the women in the office.

If you’re having a weekly meeting with a woman and she starts bitching about another girl on the team or drops some gossip, hear her out for a few minutes then get the conversation back on track. You shouldn’t shut her down immediately as you won’t be seen as approachable, but you shouldn’t let it go on for too long. You’re both there to work at the end of the day.

If the women you’re managing are ganging up on you it’s because they want to fuck you. Laugh it off then use all of your willpower to not have sex with them.

I’m 30 and don’t have my life together. Should I start dating?

Subscriber: Med, long time first time and all that. I’m staring down the barrel of turning 30 and have realized I need to get back on the dating scene if I want a chance at marriage and a family. I have only had one girlfriend and we broke up over three years ago. I spiraled into a depressive/isolating episode that lasted another three years. Not proud of it but didn’t really know how to handle those feelings and the typical therapy/SSRI Gen Z prescription didn’t help.

I recently realized I need to take ownership of my life in order to make the future I want. I’ve been back in the gym losing weight and am working on getting my shit back together.

So, should I start dating now when I’m not in my best shape, don’t have my own place, and am not in the best place financially, or do I take the next year to get all of that figured out and then put myself back in the game?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I miss the Medcast it was dope.

Med: Women will date a guy with a few extra pounds if other boxes are checked. The shape you’re in matters less than how you feel about yourself. If you don’t feel like you have your shit together then that’s going to come off like a bad stench when you’re dating. That being said, you don’t want to wait until you have everything lined up perfectly before you start talking to women again. It isn’t all-or-nothing.

I would start talking to women now, accept that you’re going to be a bit rusty for a little while and take some L’s. Your confidence will grow as you rack up small W’s while getting your life in order.

How do I find a purpose in life?

“Finding a purpose” is a binary concept that I don’t love. The assumption is you either “found” your purpose or you didn’t. “I found my purpose. I have purpose now.”

How can you Know you found your purpose? What if it’s something you like doing at this stage in your life? What if it’s something you’re doing to avoid doing something harder but more significant? Some people lose their minds, move to the countryside, tell themselves their purpose is to be a farmer, then move back home and realize they were running away from their problems.

In my experience, you feel like you have a purpose when you’re doing something you really like doing and are making progress towards getting better at it. When you’re in this state, you feel as if you’re aligned with the universe. Some people figure this out early and do it for the rest of their lives. But that’s rare.

I think “finding a purpose” means figuring out what that thing is while being open to adapt to the volatility of life.

Is it worth getting skinny enough to have thin arms but end up losing the curves of my butt and thighs?

Yes. And you won’t necessarily lose your curves. That has more to do with how your body is shaped than fat distribution. Regardless, this concern can be mitigated by doing pilates or light strength training at the gym. All women with thin arms are attractive. It’s worth it.

How do I stop my mind from being dulled by slop?

Subscriber: If you won’t mind answering, I have a question I wanted to ask you. I’ve observed that my quality of thought has reduced significantly over the years and it’s upsetting to me. I am also so exposed to slop it’s been harder to read quality stuff. How do you maintain pristineness of your thought?

Med: This is understandable and happens to a lot of people. I also feel less sharp when I’m exposed to too much slop. Whenever I start feeling that way I take a break from whatever is providing the slop. I’m no longer on X - The Slop Factory, but I used to take regular breaks there. Sometimes I’d step away for a weekend, sometimes for months at a time.

Just like how the people you spend the most time with shapes your personality, that also applies to social media. If you spend time on apps that make you feel dumb while you use them, your mind is going to deteriorate. I prefer Substack over Twitter for this reason.

Going to a museum always wakes up my mind. Reading too, of course, but being in the presence of art actives something in me that words do not. Talking to people who know me well and are willing to challenge me in good faith when they disagree with my perspective also has this effect.

What are the aspects of American culture you appreciate most vs. European culture?

Subscriber: What are the aspects of American culture you appreciate most and which ones from Mediterranean/Germanic culture?

Med: That’s a great question. I think about this often because I’ve spent a lot of time in countries with an actual culture. When I say “an actual culture”, I mean everyone eats the same food, there’s songs that everyone knows the dances to, there’s widespread agreement on gender roles, etc. This real culture takes shape from being ethnically homogenous and having a shared history.

American culture isn’t easy to define due to deep political divides and unchecked immigration over the last few decades. Immigrants bring the culture of their homeland with them and Americans no longer expect them to assimilate. If someone told me 20 years ago that the 2026 Super Bowl halftime show would be performed in Spanish, I wouldn’t have believed you.

America does have some shared values that I love. During COVID we learned that personal freedom is baked into the DNA of many Americans. Being told what to do just doesn’t work for about half the population. Americans have a natural resistance to authority. This is partially why America is such an influential and entrepreneurial country. Having the freedom to think and pursue your interests is what sparks creativity and innovation.

I also strongly value the 2nd Amendment. I believe Stand Your Ground laws should be implemented at the federal level. The idea that self-defense is a God-given right should be cherished.

I like how people are expected to mind their own business here. It’s considered rude to ask people you aren’t close friends with about their personal lives. Despite the left’s attempts to push their weird sexual fixations onto everyone else, they failed. Most Americans just want to be left alone and live their lives.

I also like how Americans value honesty and directness in communication. This is why we have such little respect for Canadians. They’re too polite and overly accommodating to be taken seriously. Americans want to know: “What wouldn’t you do if I asked you? Is there an actual person in there? Where’s your fucking spine?” These feelings also extend to the British who also prioritize politeness out of fear of being rude. Americans want you to get to the point so we can move on with our lives. There’s a ruggedness to this attitude that feels distinctly American.

Perhaps this is top of mind after of my most recent post about Indians — but Americans value being clean. Food is expected to be prepared well. One review about a bad bowel movement from a new restaurant can tank its business overnight. People are expected to shower, wear deodorant, and not smell offensive. Being a slob is looked down upon. Indoor plumbing is a given. Cleanliness isn’t a uniquely American value, but I appreciate that we have it.

When it comes to Mediterranean/Germanic culture, I will separate what I like about each.

I’ve worked with a lot of Northern Europeans, particularly Germans, and I appreciate how much they value being on time. Mediterraneans are known for being late, but I go out of my way to avoid it because I’d be deleting someone’s precious time. I also appreciate how systematically Germans think. Things needs to be in a certain order and in a certain way. It makes me understand why they’ve excelled so much in science, philosophy, and engineering.

I appreciate how Mediterraneans aren’t neurotic. We don’t worry that much but we don’t necessarily go with the flow either. There’s a sense of confidence that everything is going to be fine. There’s a warmness to this attitude that I appreciate.

I also appreciate how Mediterraneans tend to be naturally stylish and have a sex appeal that doesn’t come as naturally to other races.

Food is also taken very seriously, almost as much as the Japanese.

You posted recently about Spanish olive oil that you really loved, and it made me how familiar you are with Spanish cuisine. I went to San Sebastian for vacation and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that well in my life. Spanish cuisine is probably my favourite cuisine rn.

For reference, here is the olive oil I recommended:

I have to agree. The last time I visited Madrid I thought the same thing. As biased as I am towards Italian food, Spanish cuisine is the best in Europe right now.

I make gambas al aljillo and paella regularly at home. I need to learn how to make their croquetas at some point.

Do you read any monthly/quarterly print publications?

Subscriber: What are some of your favorite quarterly/monthly/weekly print publications to read, and how do you make time in your life for properly reading analog longform? (Obviously stage of life comes into play, as my responsibilities rn are research and classes not a real job and a family/home) Besides the general decline of manners, I think there’s also something to be said for the lost art of reading periodicals “like a gentleman” as opposed to scrolling through the Atlantic or first things on your phone

Med: I have the most amount of free time in the morning. I don’t sleep much and I wake up early, usually between 5-6AM. I check my notifications sooner than I should. After I get through them, I check the Subscribed tab on Substack to see if anyone I like has written anything I might be interested in or finish what I already started reading. I read books before I fall asleep or whenever else I have spare time.

I used to have the Wall Street Journal delivered to my home and I’d read a few articles before I went to work, but I became frustrated with their political biases and ended my subscription. When I was younger I would regularly read GQ and Men’s Health etc., but normal heterosexual men aren’t their target audience anymore. I miss publications like that because they had a pulse on trends, what was going on culturally, and catered to straight men. The internet has fragmented these interests too much. I’m not sure it could be replicated unless the publications were polished and very niche.

What’s your favorite Tim Dillon rant?

Med: That’s a hard one. I like most of his rants but some that come to mind are his impression of Lex Fridman, Long Island weddings, and the rant about the kid who killed himself because ChatGPT told him to. His podcast is excellent. Tim Dillon might be the best standup comedian right now.

Coffee preferences?

Med: I use a moka pot every morning for espresso. I use Illy espresso and usually drink it straight. I think everyone should own a Bialetti. It’s another example of beautiful, supreme Italian engineering. 90% of homes in Italy have one in their kitchen. If I want to make a latte or put in the effort to make 10/10 espresso, I use a Breville Bambino Plus.

When and how did you lose your virginity?

Med: I was 15 and I had sex with a woman. I wrote about the experience in detail here:

My fiance is signaling that he wants to pull back professionally and be content with less income, before we’ve even had kids. It feels like whiplash because this wasn’t who he presented himself to be when we got together. How do I navigate? He knew going in that I want to be a MILFy stay-at-home mom.

Med: That’s really not good. Unfortunately this happens to a lot of men. Some guys find a woman then they start to get too comfortable and lose their edge.

What’s good is he isn’t your husband and you don’t have kids. If this is a dealbreaker for you then you should let him know what your expectations are if you’re going to get married. If he isn’t willing to meet them, then it’s better to end things now rather than waiting until after you have kids.

Why do you not believe in waiting until marriage if it produces generally better long-term results?

The question applies differently to both sexes. Women should wait as long as they can and only sleep with men they could see fathering their children. That doesn’t necessarily mean waiting until marriage, because marriage doesn’t guarantee anything. Men on the other hand do not have an innate purity to protect and become more formidable as they gain life experience.

Women have more to lose from unfulfilling sexual experiences with the opposite sex than men do.

I wrote about this in more detail here:

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Men don’t like to talk about our sexual performance. It’s a sensitive topic. A man’s ability to control his sexual response to women is a high proxy of masculinity. Only the closest of friends will admit when they were a two-pump chump or couldn’t get it up.

Ideally, we want to fuck women well — but fears about being compared to past lovers or how she might react if we “lose it” can be paralyzing. Sexual anxiety is such a powerful force that it can cause us to cum far too quickly.

Most sexual performance issues aren’t solved by mechanical tricks like edging or kegel exercises, because the real issue is fear. We become better in bed when we stop treating sex like a test and start treating it like an intimate act of dominance, attention, and pleasure. Performance issues are usually psychological, not physical.

The pressure on us to perform well sexually is a good thing. Sex should be as pleasurable as possible for as long as possible. This possibility falls on men because our refractory periods are vastly different.

Men have simpler orgasms than women. We also have one kind: we get excited quickly, have an intense orgasm, then get tired. Depending on how old you are, you might be ready to go again in a few minutes, after a nap, or not at all.

Women, on the other hand, can have multiple types of orgasms. To simplify the above chart — women can have an orgasm similar to men, an orgasm without fully dropping, or plateau for far longer with multiple peaks. Women have a much slower buildup and don’t have a refractory period. Women can cum over and over and over and never get tired of it.

The heights of euphoria are reached when men and women cum at the same time. A man’s ability to look at a woman and know he can do whatever he wants to her, for as long as he wants, and fully bask in the moment with her until he’s ready to finish, unlocks a confidence and sexual prowess that expands to every other area of life. This power can’t be unlocked until his fears are overcome.

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The H-1B Visa program was created for companies that needed foreign workers with specialized knowledge, but that’s not how it’s used. If a manager needs cheap labor, they can hire an Indian with an H-1B visa.3 The applicants often lie about their experience to get approved then engage in nepotism after they’re hired.4 Decades of abuse have made Indians significantly more successful in the tech industry than they otherwise would be.

In my hometown, you could buy a 3-bedroom house twenty years ago for $300K-$500K. Like many middle-class neighborhoods, those homes are now worth $1M+. I was recently informed those properties are being bought up by Indians, in cash, then they pack the houses with 10-12 of their extended family members. My once-homogeneous hometown isn’t thrilled about this.

Indians’ refusal to assimilate to the American way of life only makes their situation worse.

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India and America are cultural opposites. Americans value individualism, Indians are collectivist. Americans value transparency, Indians prioritize saving face. Americans are primarily Christian, Indians are primarily Hindu.

Hygienically, Indians are from another universe. In 2014, over 600 million Indians were still defecating outdoors. This became such a public health hazard that the Indian government had to launch a campaign to convince them why they should poop indoors. Americans use indoor plumbing.

Indians cook with spices so pungent that it doesn’t just seep into their skin and clothes, it penetrates the walls. Ask landlords who have rented to Indians or tenants who have followed Indian families. It can take months of deep cleaning, or even demolition, to fully get the smell out. Americans prioritize not smelling offensive.

Indians are far more invasive in how they communicate. Indians have more enmeshed families (hence packing 12 people into a 3 bedroom house), so it’s normal for them to probe about private information like salary and marriage details. Americans consider it offensive to even ask. Americans also prefer 2-3 feet of distance to feel comfortable while talking to someone, whereas Indians stand or sit too close for anyone’s liking.

These vast cultural differences combined with widespread economic abuse can only persist in the same country for so long. Eventually there will be a breaking point. If Indian abuse of the American economy isn’t fully curtailed and reversed — it will become acceptable for Americans to be openly hostile towards Indians.

This might sound unlikely given how much racism is frowned upon in America. Explicit racism is considered uncouth, vulgar, and rude to most people in polite society, which it usually is. Merely being accused of racism could shatter your professional prospects. But these values come with conditions.

In America, some groups are coveted more than others. Black people are the most protected group by far. The primary slur against black people is so powerful that most people won’t even let themselves think it. If you’ve noticed any patterns in black behavior that you dislike, articulating it immediately puts your reputation at risk.

Jewish people are the second most protected group. You can tell Jewish people are less protected than black people because you can freely reference ‘Jews’ out loud without turning around to make sure nobody hears you (“unless you put a little stank on it”, to quote Louis CK). While America’s questionable relationship with Israel is causing more anti-Jewish sentiments, being accused of antisemitism can still have irreversible reputational costs.

You might notice a similarity between black and Jewish people: both of them have a historical victim narrative. In case you haven’t heard — black people used to be slaves and Jewish people were killed in the Holocaust. Black and Jewish people are also contributors to American culture. From Miles Davis to Michael Jackson to Jay-Z — the influence of black musicians on American culture is undeniable. Jewish people’s impact on the film industry, TV shows and comedy is also obvious. If Hitler had a bacon egg and cheese on an everything bagel while hungover in downtown Manhattan, he might have looked the other way.

Indians don’t have a historical victim narrative and their influence on American culture is negligible. Many Indians are proud of their overwhelming presence in Silicon Valley (the CEOs of Google, Microsoft, IBM, Adobe, and YouTube are all Indian) — but Indians aren’t innovators. They’re managers. Running a company isn’t nearly as impressive as inventing world-changing technology. When people think of American innovation, they think of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, not Satya Nadella and Sundar Pichai. “Butter Chicken” isn’t enough to get them over the finish line.

As hostility towards Indians continues to rise, the affluent white liberals you saw cheering on black people burning down cities for George Floyd will be silent in comparison. The Trump administration signed an executive order in 2025 to investigate antisemitism in universities. That’s unlikely to happen for anti-Indian sentiments. Without the 1-2 punch of victimhood and cultural impact, accusations of racism towards your group will fall on deaf ears.

• Quirk Chungus couples

• Not blackpilling on marriage

• High-quality bedding

• My favorite scents on women

• Escaping “changing consumer habits”

• My prediction on the dating landscape in 20 years

Paid subscribers can ask me anything by joining my chat or DMing me directly.

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Quick Chungus Couples

Subscriber:

how do you define the categories of sex

you mentioned before there is great sex, life changing sex, or avg sex and couples making 4/10 whoopies

especially the higher forms of sex, i’m interested in knowing how they happen and how do you make it happen

Med:

Here is the Note they’re referring to for reference:

I don’t have a set of categories, but in the above post I’m talking about the difference between obligatory and passionate sex.

The millennial couple who resemble a pair of roommates more than lovers is best described in the below meme:

Quick Chungus couples aren’t particularly attractive, their personalities are either annoying or nonexistent, and they don’t inspire passion in anyone. As a result, they’re having obligatory sex. They’re having sex with each other’s bodies merely to scratch the itch of horniness. They’ve been told that’s what they’re supposed to do every few months. A lot of couples fall into this category.

In terms of how I think about passionate sex, I would read this if you haven’t already.

Not Blackpilling on Marriage

Subscriber:

Hello Med,

I’ve got a question that might be deemed somewhat childish and idiotic, but I have been thinking about it for years, and I trust your intuition so I wanted to ask your opinion on it.

I’ve grown up in a family where my parents have constantly argued about the weight my mother has gained due to a neurological disease she got diagnosed with few years into her marriage. My father was never able to accommodate the fact that my mother was no longer going to be the fit hot woman that he desired. His resentment towards her grew and grew. Now they both hate each other.

This has always made me question marriage. Obviously, the woman’s physical attractiveness is significant to any man. That’s normal. But how significant should it be over the long run? And more importantly what happens when you both grow 20 years older and she is not that hot anymore? Do you give up on sex at that age and just enjoy the fruits of having a family? Do you take a mistress? How should a man approach the decay of his woman’s beauty over time?

Med:

I’m not old enough to say based on experience, but I can say with certainty that when you truly love someone, you become more attracted to them over time and the sex gets better and better the more you trust each other.

I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your parents. I understand why it would make you question marriage. However, that’s a rare case. Women should stay in shape for the sake of the relationship, and most women who truly love their husbands commit to this, but in this case it was out of her hands.

Physical attraction is always important, but I believe true love keeps attraction intact regardless of how you age. I don’t know what your parents relationship is like, but I assume there might have been other issues at play in addition to the weight gain. True love is rare.

High-Quality Bedding

Subscriber:

Hello Med, I really enjoyed reading the 2025 article about cooking and food, in which you mentioned that food and sleep are your top priorities. As such, you’ve recommended some kitchen tools - could you please recommend sleeping tools much in the same vein: bed, mattress, etc.? Thank you

Med:

I’m not an expert on good sleeping habits because I don’t sleep much. 6 hours in a night is rare for me. But I strongly believe in not skimping when it comes to bedding given you spend 1/3 of your life in bed.

I’ve been using these pillows for well over a decade. I’ve only had to replace them a few times. I stuff them 2-3x a year to make sure they don’t cave into themselves over time; that brand sells the material on the side. I like silk pillowcases. For sheets and duvet covers, I really like tencel material. A lot of different brands make high quality tencel. I use a Helix mattress. My bed feels like a cloud.

My Favorite Scents on Women

Subscriber:

Hey Med, if I’m remembering correctly, you’ve listed some colognes you like to wear some time ago. What are some of your favorite scents on a woman? Additionally, are there certain scent profiles (gourmands, aquatics, orientals, florals) that complement any of your categories of female attractiveness?

Med: I wanted to give a proper answer here, so I blind tested twenty different fragrances and ranked them 1-10. She popped my answers into ChatGPT to give a summary of my taste.

This person has a very specific modern niche-fragrance taste profile. Their preferences lean heavily toward:

Skin scents
Warm woody ambers
Airy musks
Soft gourmand sweetness
Minimalist “your skin but better” fragrances

She has a very distinct collection and asked me not to post my #1 favorite. But one of my favorites is Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille. I wear it myself but I also think it smells incredible on women.

Escaping Changing Consumer Habits

Subscriber:

Hey Med, a question for the next round of responses:

In your view, which, if any, parts of America are still free of ever-encroaching “changing consumer habits” and their nasty proponents?

Med:

Here is the Note they’re referring to for reference:

I like cities, which are full of America’s Little Rascals, so I’m not an expert in this area. But from what I’ve seen, wealthy all-white neighborhoods who vote overwhelmingly liberal tend to have the least amount of them. Go figure.

My Prediction on the Dating Landscape in 20 Years

Do you think the dating situation would change for young men in their early 20s 20 years from now?

20 years is a long time from now. A lot will change. But based on where things stand today — there will likely be a sharp cultural divide between people who went all-in on letting AI run their lives and those who incorporated into their lives in a balanced way.

The former group will be content with never thinking again, never experiencing physical reality again, and never needing to put effort into anything. They will be content with their UBI paychecks. A lot of Americans are already like this, as perfectly articulated by .

The people in the former category will die out. The people in the latter category will have an extremely easy time dating, and will probably reproduce at a significantly higher rate than most people do today.

Related Posts

I never had much respect for Tucker until 2020. I always saw him as a pompous neocon dork who wore a bowtie. But during the peak of COVID insanity, his viral monologues made him an authoritative and level-headed voice on the right.

However, after Tucker was fired from Fox News and launched the Tucker Carlson Network on YouTube, he started to change. His personality has become difficult to bare. He’s one-dimensional, predictable, and annoyingly agreeable with his guests regardless of how vapid they can be. Tucker has always been a bit sassy, but over the last few years — he’s become a meme of himself.

“Like, what IS that?!”

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Tucker also makes bold claims about topics that are completely unprovable. He’ll frantically claim UFOs are demons that live all around us, then finish the sentence with a passive-aggressive “obviously.”

I often find myself thinking: “No, Tucker. None of what you just said is remotely obvious to anyone.”

It’s becoming harder to take Tucker Carlson seriously.

As my subscribers know, I find all of this nonsense about demons to be incoherent. People who blame human behavior they dislike on “demons” tend to embarrass themselves. For example, Tucker claimed he was physically attacked by a demon in his sleep and has the scars to prove it — while in the same breath admitted he lets four big dogs sleep in his bed. In his recent interview with The New York Times, he said Donald Trump casts spells on people.

I’m also skeptical of his sudden religious fervor; not because I don’t think Tucker is genuinely a Christian (who am I to say), but I strongly dislike how he uses Christianity as a cover to avoid saying things with his full chest. For example:

It’s understandable to be cynical about talking heads on the internet. Most of them just pander to their audience for YouTube revenue. But it’s unhealthy to assume nobody has genuine beliefs. That’s too nihilistic, even for me.

I agree with Tucker on the issues he sticks his neck out for. He speaks out against Trump and Israel’s war on Iran. He even confronted Trump privately before criticizing him publicly. He’s also been consistently anti-war since he visited Iraq, a war he was a fervent propagandist for. Since then he frequently confesses he did a terrible thing and apologizes for it on a regular basis. At times I find him to be courageous and admirable.

Tucker is on the right side of some very important issues. He’s strongly against mass immigration, rampant crime in American cities, and Israel’s stronghold over American politicians.

Tucker also criticizes “the deep state.” While it isn’t clear exactly who he’s talking about, I interpret it to mean the people who want to give violent black people a free pass and push for endless wars. In that sense, I’m just as against the same people as he is.

But Tucker isn’t afraid to delve into conspiracy theory crazy-land. His YouTube audience can’t gobble up enough of that content (just look at Candace Owens’ views per video), so perhaps he is just pandering to them. But he also lives a very secluded life. He might just be a guy who moved to rural Maine and went off the deep end.

I believe Tucker is straddling the line between being authentic and intentionally shoring up a cult of conspiracy-brained internet addicts as he plans to run for President in 2032.

Tucker Carlson is a very important political figure. His podcast is often #1 in the country and the President reacts to his opinions. Whether or not he has political ambitions long-term, he’s extremely influential. It’s important to keep an eye on him. While Tucker might be well-intentioned, it isn’t clear exactly who he is or what he’s up to. That gives me reason to be wary of him.

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Anthropic recently built an AI model called Claude Mythos that is apparently so sophisticated at detecting and exploiting vulnerabilities in browsers, operating systems, and other critical software that they decided it shouldn’t be released. They were so convinced that if it ended up in the wrong hands, it could pose major risks to the economy, public safety, and national security. Its release remains on hold until tech behemoths like Microsoft, Google, Apple, and Amazon give Anthropic the green light.

I take dystopian AI narratives with a grain of salt. But given the rapid speed at which AI is progressing — it’s feasible that AI could find security loopholes across multiple websites and social media platforms that ultimately expose everyone’s information. It could even create a public database of everyone who has ever used the internet. If someone were to look up your name in this scenario, they would see everything you’ve ever said online. Yes, everyone would be fucked. But given this risk — people should take the proper precautions to reduce potential damage.

If you post under your real name, then you’re probably willing to muffle your true beliefs to protect your reputation. But if you post anonymously, then you still have to worry about your identity being exposed. Everyone should be concerned about the major security risks posed by AI.

Protecting your identity means more than just using an anonymous name and profile picture. It means completely severing your online life from your personal life. You must also ensure you aren’t leaving “breadcrumbs” — small pieces of information that can connect the two. Plenty of people are great at picking up these breadcrumbs. AI will be even better at it.

There’s a wide range of precautions you can take to protect your identity. The most extreme option is to not use the internet at all or delete all of your social media accounts. But that’s unrealistic. I prefer a more grounded approach while still being hypervigilant. In this post I will talk about the apps, methods, and common sense I use to have tight internet security and remain completely anonymous.

Assess Your Threat Model

If you live in the real world, it’s impossible to use the internet without revealing your identity. If you have a credit card, use Amazon, or shop online — your information is out there. Just Google your real name with your city and state. There’s thousands of data brokers who collect this information and sell it.

There’s also different risk levels. I’m a well-known anonymous account with controversial opinions, so I have to be more diligent than average. If you’re a small account who doesn’t attract much attention, then you probably have less to worry about. Regardless, in the case of an untamable AI security breach, I recommend taking the below precautions.

Disconnect Your Double Life

I strongly advise against posting under your real name on Instagram or Facebook while running anonymous accounts. This significantly raises your risk. That being said, if you’re already doing this, there’s no need to panic. Run through the below list to make sure your anonymous account and real life accounts aren’t connected in any way.

Interacting with other people online is inevitable. Stay extremely cautious anyway. Even your closest mutuals can become compromised, leak details, or turn on you. I’m also not suggesting you shouldn’t make friends online. But regardless of how trustworthy someone seems, you should remain skeptical, lean on the side of caution, and use your best judgement. Trust your gut.

Your anonymous account should also be completely clean. If it fails any of the below criteria, then it isn’t clean. Here are the basics of account hygiene:

• Account is linked to an email address that doesn’t include your name (yourname@gmail.com). You can create burner emails for free.

• Your anonymous account has been completely anonymous from the beginning. Which means:

  • Your original username didn’t include your real name or other information about you. Many people have been doxxed this way. They started with an anonymous account that was originally their real-life account. The username was something like “@realname” or something equally revealing. If you fall into this category, I strongly recommend deleting your anonymous account.

  • You weren’t posting things that could be linked to your identity (posting about where you went to school, where you work, etc.).

    • Keep in mind - if you’ve posted that you live in NYC, then it isn’t catastrophic. A city of 9 million people is too broad to pinpoint anyone. But it becomes dangerous when combined with other details.

  • If you’ve only been posting privately under a locked account but were being loose about your information in your posts or DMs, I recommend deleting the account, regardless of how much you may trust the people who follow you. If nobody follows you, your level of risk is significantly lower.

  • You’ve never cross-posted the same photo, opinion, or story on both accounts. If you’re unsure whether you’ve done this, review your old posts or use a tool like tweetdelete.net to wipe everything and start clean.

Some of above suggestions might be seen as extreme. How much you’re willing to deviate from them is up to you and how you assess your risk level.

Tight Internet Security

Hackers are getting more sophisticated at phishing schemes. Just look at what happened to ’s Substack and X accounts recently.

This is where having very tight internet security comes into play, which is different than having tight OPSEC (Operational Security). Internet security is making sure your accounts are as hack-proof as possible. OPSEC is making sure your identity is as un-doxxable as possible. You can have the tightest OPSEC in the world, but if someone can easily log into your accounts — they can dox you.

VPN

In general, it’s wise to use a VPN to mask your IP address. However, this can slow your connection and sometimes certain sites won’t allow you to access it with a VPN turned on. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t have it on at all times, but to reduce risk, you should have a VPN on as often as possible.

Passwords

What’s more important is making sure nobody can log into your accounts except you. First and foremost, you must use a Password Manager. If you’re using the same password for everything, or have a little system in your mind, it’s extremely exploitable. Password Managers will create a long string of numbers, letters, and symbols as your password, and makes it easy to use a different complicated password for each site.

I also strongly recommend using 2FA (2 Factor Authentication) for all of your logins. You should use the 6 digit authenticator codes linked to an authenticator app, which is pre-installed in most password managers.

Tip: if the password manager you use isn’t supported by the site’s 2FA policy, select “enter code manually”, and it will give you a long string of letters. Enter that into your password manager, and the 2FA codes will appear.

Never link 2FA to your phone number. It creates a serious vulnerability — if an attacker hijacks your SIM card, they can receive all your codes. Most sites offer 2FA now. If the only option is to use a phone number, create a free burner number online instead.

The above guide for passwords is mandatory.

Remove Yourself From Internet Archives + Google Yourself

If you want to delete your social media history, beyond merely deleting accounts, you should search for the URL of your account on the Wayback Machine. If a bad actor wanted to clip something you said for future use against you, they posted it here. If you send them an email with a legal notice requesting the takedown, they usually don’t ask many questions and take it down promptly. Ask AI to write this up for you.

Also, and I admit this is extreme — reach out to companies you have logins with but no longer use and request they delete your data. That’s different than merely deactivating your account. If you send them a legal notice, they will respond in a few days and confirm deletion.

Lastly, and most importantly — Google yourself. If there’s websites that have written things about you, request they be taken down. I’m not suggesting you need to have a completely empty Google search, but keep in mind that it’s a vulnerability risk.

I strongly recommend using Incogni. If you provide it with your name, phone number, and previous addresses, it will scour the internet for all of the data brokers that sell your data and legally request they take it down on your behalf. I’m not being paid to promote this.

Conclusion and AI’s Feedback

As I mentioned earlier, this post contains two essays: the one you just read, and the second I published 4 years ago. The second goes into more depth, and you can tell from the language it’s a bit outdated.

I wrote this to help people who might be concerned about future AI risks and want to better protect their identity. To have minimum viable OPSEC, aside from password protection, you can use your best judgement as to how far you’re willing to go based on your risk level.

To make this guide as robust as possible, I even ran it by Grok (yes — I asked AI for help protecting myself from AI). I will never publish anything I know nothing about or don’t have strong opinions on, so I copy and pasted exactly what it fed back to me.

I hope you found this helpful.

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If I had Boomer Derangement Syndrome, I would say:

“Boomers are slaves to the television.”

“Boomers are liberals because they worship the Civil Rights Act.”

“Boomers hoard all of the wealth.”

“Boomers only care about spending their money on ‘living their best life.’”

“Boomers don’t realize the world is harder than the one they grew up in.”

“Boomers are the reason I’m not wealthy. Boomers destroyed America.”

In this post I will discuss which issues Boomers deserve to be blamed for, and which they don’t. To start, lets review these accusations objectively.

“Boomers are slaves to the television.”

This is true.

Boomers watch significantly more TV than any other generation.1

“Boomers are liberals because they worship the Civil Rights Act.”

While Boomers tend to lean progressive, they’re moderates in comparison to Gen Z. 68% of Zoomers support DEI in the workplace, compared to only 52% of Boomers.2

Boomers also consistently vote Republican more reliably than Millennials and Zoomers.3 They also favor the death penalty and mass deportations more than younger generations.4

“Boomers hoard all of the wealth.”

The sentiment is extremely popular. 82% of Zoomers and 75% of Millennials blame Boomers for their financial problems. To add fuel to the fire, Boomers are 3x less likely than Gen X to recognize their financial decisions have an impact on younger generations.5

This is where the topic gets complicated, and requires an understanding of money.

Indeed, Boomers own most of the wealth.6

At first glance, you might assume there was an imaginary treasure chest filled with beachfront properties, luxury cars and expensive jewelry set aside for Millennials and Zoomers, but the greedy Boomers just came in and took it. You also might assume Boomers won’t sell their homes at a discount because they’re uniquely evil.

But that simply isn’t the case.

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Given their controversial nature, these are available to Founding Members only.

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• First and Second Date Ideas

• Demoralized Zoomers Embracing Looksmaxxing

• The Pros and Cons of Bullying

• Dealing with Ubiquitous Wokeness

• Dealing with Easily-Offended Women

• Dealing with Psychopaths on Twitter

• Cultural Differences in Relationships

• Feeling Like You’re Not High Quality

• Can Straight Men Be Happy Without Women?

• Developing Taste

• Dismantling People on Twitter

• Quitting Weed

• Unlearning Manosphere Content

• Dating Options While Living in The Middle of Nowhere

• Friend is Marrying the Wrong Girl

• Getting Over a Girl From Work

• Should I Drop Out of College Because of AGI?

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First and Second Date Ideas

Subscriber: Hey Med. Extremely basic question but I was wondering what your “go to” first and even second dates are. I’m 22 and have a bit of experience but would love to know if you have any suggestions.

Med: I prefer getting drinks on the first date. I like to pick a place with a good ambiance that isn’t too loud so you can both hear each other. It’s a great way to get to know each other and flirt, assuming you’re a fun drunk. If you’re a depressing drunk or a sloppy drunk, then I don’t recommend getting drinks on the first date.

If the first date goes well then I’ll also do drinks on the second date. If I see it going somewhere long-term then I’ll do dinner, but I typically save that for the third date.

In America, you’re usually sitting across from each other at restaurants and it can feel a bit like like an interview. It’s less intimate.

Demoralized Zoomers Embracing Looksmaxxing

Subscriber: Hey Med, I think a lot of trends that popped off over the last few years (Looksmaxxing, Male Depression Industry content, online self improvement), are all responses from a demoralized generation.

Gen Z guys have a weird new gnostic worldview where they feel suffocated by the modern economic system and culture. The rise of popularity in the content I mentioned, reflects a constant (online) search for more knowledge, as a way to escape the system by bypassing it

I’m 26, I don’t see modern culture or the economic system changing soon. Though my own attitude to this isn’t defeatist, I see many guys who are completely broken down by it. My question is, how do you revitalise young men in this context?

Med: Everyone is a product of their environment to some extent, but not everyone. Some people are naturally more skeptical and move to the beat of their own drum. They’re more likely to think and do things for themselves. I like to think my subscribers fall into this category.

But looking at the bigger picture — a lot of these issues are economic and structural. I listed some of the issues both men and women are facing in the below post.

America will need to do a complete 180 in how the country operates to give young people a path to live a good life instead of embracing nihilism.

That being said, that doesn’t mean people don’t have options. There’s still plenty of ways to carve out a good life for yourself, but it’s much harder now than it needs to be.

The Pros and Cons of Bullying

Subscriber: Can you elaborate on how stopping bullying in schools led to men becoming weak? Are there boundaries of behavior you think should be enforced by schools --- even if you think the anti-bullying movement went too far?

Med: Men have ways of checking each other’s behavior. That’s usually done by making fun of each other or calling each other a faggot or a pussy when they’re being weak. The intention isn’t to damage, but to make us tougher and hold ourselves to higher standards as men.

That being said, bullying is a real thing. Some kids get picked on mercilessly for no reason and don’t necessarily become tougher because of it. In high school, these types of bullies are often directing the rage they have towards their parents on people weaker than them as an outlet because they’re powerless at home.

On one hand, this can inspire the person getting bullied to get stronger and defend themselves. On the other hand, there shouldn’t be no rules in high school. Otherwise, it becomes violent. Bullies need to be checked as well.

Unfortunately our culture is too coddling of everyone’s feelings and has gone overboard to the point where there’s no middle ground to let boys be boys.

Dealing with Ubiquitous Wokeness

Subscriber: What are your views on not cutting your nose off to spite your face? For example say there’s a restaurant you really enjoy but they decide to go on a woke rampage and throw support at several causes you disagree with. Could also be said about musicians, authors, the world at large.

When you find something you like but then they support gay race communism it’s hard to take that thing serious again.

Med: It comes with the territory at this point, so it’s pretty unavoidable. Products are a means to an end. For example, if a cafe makes incredible coffee, but all of the baristas are obese troons, then so be it. I don’t like it, but as long as the coffee is good, then I can let it go. There’s not much you can do about it. The other option is to open up your own cafe, or live like a hermit. Neither seem worth it.

Dealing With Easily-Offended Women

Subscriber: Hey Med, do you think girls have become more scared of men in recent years? From my recent dating experience, it seems like you have to walk on eggshells in the early stages just so you don’t “scare hoes”. I don’t know if it’s their anxiety, SSRIs, pills, or socials that’s driving it.
How do you navigate these waters?

Med: If you can give me an example I can give you a better answer, but in general — it’s good to not scare the hoes. Some women have definitely been programmed to be hypersensitive and look for reasons to be offended, but not all of them.

Regardless, you should hide your “power level” around women, especially in the early stages. After trust is built and they’re very attracted to you, they’re more likely to look the other way or embrace your value system.

Dealing with Psychopaths on Twitter

Subscriber: Hey Med, I think I stumbled upon a phenomenon in Twitter, where I said something objectively funny but I know have a swarm of crazy (women) people coming in and misinterpreting and sick their friends to just call you some of the most vile and creepy stuff. Ultimately, I think it’s a huge waste of time to be on Twitter, which is pushing me to leave, but I don’t wanna give the idiots fuel. But the long-term goal is ultimately to leave so how did you reflect on that because your account was huge and I looked up to you but you stepped away and I’m sure you got tons of shit every day in tandem you probably got a lot of support too.

So my direct question is, how did you deal with the Internet crazies on Twitter and then how did you finally decide to leave because I think I need that help of a push to leave

Med: You sent this question over prior to me publishing The Death of Twitter, but I didn’t mention anything specific that caused me to leave. Honestly, it was a long time coming. Over the last 2 years I became increasingly frustrated with how stupid and hostile the people are there. I was also heavily shadowbanned. Something just clicked one day. “This place is beneath me. I don’t like it here. Why am I doing this?”

With regard to internet crazies, I wrote about this in Internet Psychopaths - Part 1: The Obsessive. But to summarize, I got used to it after a while. Haters are like gnats. Blocking them feels like turning on the windshield wipers. They’re gone for good. When it comes to obsessives, I came to accept that I trigger a certain type of guy in a pretty profound way, and I actually feel bad for them. Most of them just want me to like them. Regardless, never acknowledging their existence is the way to handle them. They usually move on.

Cultural Differences in Relationships

Subscriber: l’ve been seeing this girl for 3 months now, she is drop - dead gorgeous, smart and incredibly funny

I really like her and I enjoy her company a lot, because of this I naturally made her my girlfriend and so far it has been going exceptionally well

The problem is, she comes from a completely different culture and faith to mine, to the point I experience a sense of cultural shock and looming dread on the very long term

We are both still young, working but still in college etc. We have touched on the culture compatibility topic before but have had to redirect it after understanding where it is heading

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, I would feel devastated ending such a fantastic relationship because of an issue I do mostly see as more neurotic than logical, but at the same time I can’t shake of this doubt and fear that I could be leading her on

Med: Cultural and religious differences can definitely cause tension. But if the relationship is fantastic and you two actually love each other, then you’ll navigate those waters as you cross them. I wouldn’t end the relationship preemptively. You will regret it. If it doesn’t work out, at least you know you gave it your best shot. See it through.

Feeling Like You’re Not High Quality

Subscriber: You’ve talked before about men holding more cards than they realize in dating. But practically speaking, does that apply for the top 20, 10, 5, 1 percent man, or does it apply to any reasonably put-together guy? Im certain most of your readers putting in work to have something going on but just factually most guys won’t end to rich/high status/good looking.

I want to take more agency with women and have more self confidence in dating but don’t want to be delusional either

Med: It all comes down to you. I wouldn’t think about dating in terms of how men as a concept are perceived by women. What matters is how you perceive yourself. If you’re honest with yourself and perceive yourself highly, then women will too.

I also wouldn’t think about this “top 20%” thing too much. It’s mostly relative and unmeasurable, therefore it’s make-believe. There are some objective measures, but they’re mostly common sense. As you said, being well put-together goes a long way, as well as not being broke. If there’s things you need to do to get there, then you should do them.

But focusing too much on how you look and less on who you are as a man is going to make you feel hopeless. Prioritizing looks simply isn’t how women operate. They prioritize character above the superficial.

Go to the gym as much as possible. Get big. This will increase your testosterone significantly. This will make you feel better about yourself. I know this is very basic advice — but it works.

I also recommend reading some of the posts I linked below.

Can Straight Men Be Happy Without Women?

Subscriber: Can a heterosexual man be genuinely happy without any sexual and romantic activity in his life? If so, what are the conditions?

Med: No. Any man who claims otherwise is lying to himself.

Developing Taste

Subscriber: How do I develop taste?

Med: Everyone has taste, but not necessarily good taste. I don’t know if good taste can be taught, but I can only speak for myself. I believe Beauty is objective. I have strong instincts for what is and isn’t beautiful. Something is either beautiful or it isn’t.

Don’t be ashamed about wanting and being allured by the most beautiful things. I think a lot of people have bad taste because they don’t feel worthy of possessing Beauty, or allowing Beauty to completely overtake them.

Dismantling People on Twitter

Subscriber: How do I dismantle people with words? (like the way you do it on twitter lol)

Med: I don’t have great instructions when it comes to this. I’m just honest and call things as I see them.

Quitting Weed

Subscriber: Hi Med, what would you say to help someone like me to quit smoking weed daily? I’m 27, never dated before or even been on a date (I’ll admit I’m petrified of Women. Not sure why but the idea of a relationship seems impossible), I’m not fat but I’m also not ripped I have a slight build, I’m somewhat attractive since I’ve gotten compliments before, I’ve been dead broke my whole life but I started a business that is doing better lately, I’m in debt because I spent a lot of money on self-help content ever since COVID (with plans to pay off since I have work in my books), I have good friends who will help me if I need it, and I smoke weed everyday. Not to mention I live with my parents with siblings who enforce very liberal views, with plans to move out in the coming months.

I’m on it 24/7 and I don’t like it. It smells bad, makes me anti-social, less confident, I feel like it suppresses my testosterone since I feel so small in a room full of people. I obviously recognize all of this and how bad the stuff is. But I continue to smoke it because living sober in reality feels even worse given the above situation. I’m working hard to get out of the crappy environment I’m in at home and I need to do the inner work because I don’t handle pressure too well.

Any advice, critiques, or comments is appreciated. Thank you

Med: I also used to smoke weed a lot, so I know how you’re feeling. It definitely has all of the effects you listed. I stopped cold turkey, so that’s what I recommend you do. You will feel strange being sober for a while, and less like yourself — but you will see benefits quickly. You will likely have very vivid dreams for a while because weed suppresses REM sleep. You’ll also start to think clearer and have more energy. This process is bringing you back to homeostatis.

It sounds like you know this is holding you back, so I recommend stopping today.

Unlearning Manosphere Content

Subscriber: Hi Med, What advice would you give to someone trying to get out of the Male Depression Industry? Without divulging too much, I have spent a few years consuming the opinions of people I really shouldn’t have, and I was young and impressionable enough to uncritically take these assumptions on board, to the point where it’s almost unconscious. I am someone who has struggled with self-confidence for a very long time, and I’d very much appreciate any tips you have on how to un-fuck myself.

Big fan of your essays, thanks for all you do.

Med: The fact you’re aware of the effect it’s had on you is 80% of the battle. Most men aren’t able to admit they’ve been brainwashed. So the fact you have the confidence to admit that goes a very long way.

There’s a big unlearning process to come. The more you stay away from it and the more you learn about life and women through your own direct experiences, the more confident you will be. This won’t happen overnight, but I guarantee you it will happen over time. You’re on the right track.

Dating Options While Living in The Middle of Nowhere

Subscriber: Hi Med, I have a specific question but would also appreciate any advice you have on my situation as well.

I’m a 32 year old woman and single again after a 5ish month relationship. I’m not stopping traffic but I’m not bad looking either. I have a professional degree and the white collar job that comes along with it. It’s a good money and it’s pretty lax, but it’s a bit of an albatross. I work basically 100% from home. I live in the middle nowhere because I want to be close to my mom who’s older and because I don’t have a reason to be anywhere else.

Together, WFH and being in the middle of nowhere are basically catastrophic for meeting anyone. My now ex-BF, who I met through an app, lived about an hour away. He lived close to the city that’s closest to me (it’s a third rate city and not worth living there).

I don’t have a lot of family. Just my mom, a brother I’m not close with, and a few relatives in New England.

The most important thing to me is meeting the right guy (I had one long failed relationship in my 20s, I wasn’t out partying). I can go anywhere in the US that I can afford (not NY, DC, Boston, etc. I’d be scrounging for sure), but I have no reason to be anywhere in particular but here.

I have so much to choose from and so little to go on. And no where in the US really excites me. I’d have moved to a big city already if they weren’t all overrun with crime, overpriced, and stinking of weed. A small city that’s pretty safe and skews to my age group would be great. Any suggestions? Also, my politics are very similar to yours so I’d prefer not be in a place that’s totally liberal.

Also, I’ve heard the dating apps are dead now. Is that true?

Med: I would take advantage of the fact that you have the financial means to move to a better location. Dating in low population areas can be rough.

I recommend checking out cities that are more middle-of-the-road politically. They’ll be less likely to be crime-ridden and reeking of weed. It’s not guaranteed, but I would start there. Take a few weekend trips to see what feels best.

Friend is Marrying the Wrong Girl

Subscriber: Hi Med, hope you’re doing well. A question for your next AMA, if any is planned in the future: my friend is marrying his Oneitis of 12+ years. He desperately wants kids, she’s firmly against it and gets emotional when he brings it up. He says if she says no he’ll marry her anyway but fears he’ll end up cheating. I’ve been dropping hints this could breed resentment, but haven’t pushed hard. How far should I go, and what’s the best angle?
Thanks for being a voice of reason in these times.

Med: I don’t recommend straight up telling him he’s marrying the wrong girl because it will cause permanent tension in the friendship. I would approach this by making it about him and asking him questions that he’ll will come to the right answers to. “Are you sure you’ll be okay with never having kids?” and “If I told you I was settling down with a girl I’ll inevitably cheat on, what would you tell me?”

It’s painful to watch, but you need to accept that he very well might make a bad decision. What matters is that you tried your best to help him without hurting your friendship.

Getting Over a Girl From Work

Subscriber: Hey Med-- question for your next AMA (apologies in advance for the length, but have been saving this for a while (and wanting to ask this question was a big motivation for signing up for your Substack, actually)):

I started a job a few years ago where I had instant chemistry with a girl roughly my age, who was the only decent looking chick in the whole office. Everyone else at the company was also significantly older than us and they’d constantly tease me about her, and would often note she was flirting with me. Maybe they slightly exaggerated at first, but as time went on, it became clear there was a palpable mutual tension when we’d talk, but I mentally brushed all of this off because I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend.

A year or so into the job, on a work trip, she barged into my room at 2 am after we had a night out to complain about the company culture (and other bullshit), basically crying on my shoulder. I didn’t make a move (I also don’t believe in cheating and was motivated by those principles), but after that, I began to see her slightly differently, especially as my relationship with my gf began gradually unravelling (for other reasons entirely). She ended up breaking up with her bf before I broke up with my gf and we generally had bad timing, but she’d still text me a lot, be flirty, etc.

When we were finally both single, I became self consciously interested in her and I made a move on her at the end of a long night, where I drank too much, and she rebuffed me in a pretty embarrassing way (I leaned in to kiss her and she jerked back aggressively). It was terribly awkward the next day but she was nice enough and we agreed to act like nothing happened, but she definitely made it clear she wasn’t interested in me. Two weeks after this rejection, she invited me to accompany her on a work trip across the country, just the two of us. I was confused but agreed to go. We ended up having an incredibly romantic dinner, holding hands briefly, going on a bar crawl, etc. I invited her to my room and she came up but left pretty quickly after (she also mentioned that night she was in a “situationship” with a new guy at the moment). After that, I basically concluded, I should mentally get over her. She’s now actually in a relationship (again, different guy) and acts noticeably different to me (she used to send me random stuff on instagram, walk into my office to chat every day, etc). Her change in behavior stemming from now entering a serious relationship, leads me to believe she was either self consciously leading me on for fun, or I just got really unlucky with timing.

This isn’t a very pointed question, but I guess I’m struggling to mentally compartmentalize this kind of behavior from a woman. Is there anything I could’ve done differently? If we find ourselves both single again, is there a different approach to employ when engaging her? Thanks in advance for your insight.

Med: I hate to say it but I think she may have seen you more as a friend given she rejected you when you tried to kiss her but still invited you to go on a work trip across the country. Either that or she’s the type of girl to juggle multiple guys at once without sleeping with them. Basically a cock tease.

In terms of what you could have done differently, it’s hard to say given I don’t know exactly what happened that night or the context of where you two were. If you drank too much, then that’s probably why. Next time just be mindful of how much you’re drinking so you don’t come off too sloppy. Don’t be too hard on yourself though. It happens to the best of us.

If she is single again, I wouldn’t approach her. I would see if she comes to you. If she does, then don’t make yourself too available. Build tension to make her want you more, then tell her you want to take her out on a date. I would be bold about it so she knows that you know what you want.

But I wouldn’t linger on that possibility for too long. I would try your best to move on. You’ll definitely think about her less if you go on more dates.

Should I Drop Out of College Because of AGI?

Subscriber: Med, I turn 20 years old this month. As the date draws closer, my soul grow heavier. I don’t fear age or death, only mediocrity and the permanent underclass. My only desires are saving America, learning, and adventure. Thus, I am grappling with a newfound decision to drop out in May to pursue a meaningful job opportunity. I am mission-oriented by nature, and the idea of 2 more years of classes taught by begrudged cat ladies makes me gag. I know the degree has value, but it feels like a waste of precious time right now, especially as AGI looms on the horizon.

Am I getting oneshotted by the online SF nerds? Do you have any advice to myself and other young men experiencing similar emotions? Do you forsee any hidden pitfalls that I’m currently failing to calculate into my decision?

Thanks and God Bless

Med: It’s normal to feel this way at your age, but you should spend your 20’s making and saving as much money as possible and building up your status in whichever field you decide to go in.

I strongly recommend not dropping out of school because you will have less options in the future. I’m sure your teachers are annoying as fuck, but try not to focus on that. Your classes are a means to an end.

Having your bachelors degree is still important. You’re halfway there. See it through and then reassess your options. Dropping out of school will only limit those options.

I wouldn’t worry about AGI. If neuroscientists don’t know what human consciousness is, then dorks in San Francisco don’t know what digital consciousness is. That doesn’t mean jobs won’t be replaced, but everything isn’t coming to an end.

Yes, it’s possible you’re being one-shotted by SF nerds.

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Enjoy 🤍

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But Twitter wasn’t always this embarrassing. It used to be a site where everyday people could mock celebrities, journalists, and politicians. The memes were hilarious. The ideas were cutting-edge. Today, Twitter is nothing like that. It’s decayed into a propaganda machine, a recycling plant, and a slop casino.

Twitter was a big part of my life for 6 years. I had a lot of fun there. To honor it, I will give Twitter’s demise a proper autopsy.

Jack Dorsey, Founder & CEO of Twitter

I created my account in 2020, during Twitter’s most censorious period. Soon after Trump branded COVID as The China Virus, the knives were out. If you were against lockdowns, wearing masks, or social distancing — your account could be suspended for no reason without recourse. The terms of service were arbitrary. If you didn’t post anything controversial, you could still get banned merely for following a controversial account. It was extremely frustrating.

The Twitter Files, an investigation into Twitter’s collusion with the Biden administration, revealed that Jack Dorsey isn’t particularly ideological — he’s just a coward. He lost control of the company he founded. Twitter was taken over by his most liberal employees.

In late 2021, Jack stepped down and promoted a man named Parag Agrawal to CEO. He isn’t worth mentioning.

Elon Musk, ‘Chief Twit’ of X

In October 2022, Elon Musk swooped in to save Twitter. He declared our constitutional right to free speech was at risk and bought the company for a whopping $44B.

Elon was initially hailed as a hero. Spirits were high. He walked into the Twitter headquarters holding a sink…so they could “let that sink in.”

Get it!?

Elon made some significant changes:

• Reversed the Bluecheck policy. Only journalists, politicians, and celebrities could have the esteemed bluecheck. Now anyone can have it, as long as you verify your ID and pay for X Premium.

• Reinstated banned accounts. Some of the most controversial right-wing figures, from Alex Jones, to Nick Fuentes, to Milo Yiannopoulos, and then-former President Donald Trump, were allowed to post again.

• Rebranded Twitter to X.

• Changed the business model to compensate posters for their viral posts.

• Loosened the terms of service to let anyone say whatever they want, subject to the laws of the country they were posting from.

Given the other massive companies Elon runs, he slowly became less involved in running X. He hired Linda Yaccarino as CEO in 2023, who stepped down 2 years later. After she left, Elon passed the torch to someone else.

Nikita Bier, Head of Product at X

Nikita Bier was hired as Head of Product, but is functionally CEO. Nikita has a long career in creating viral dopamine loops.

Prior to joining X, Nikita started a company called tbh in 2017 — an app for high school students to vote on popularity contests. He sold it to Facebook for $30M. It was shut down 10 months later because nobody used it.

In 2022, Nikita started a company called Gas, which did the same thing as tbh, except users could pay to see who voted on each poll. Gas was eventually bought by Discord. It was also shut down in less than a year because nobody used it.

Since Elon hired Nikita — X has become significantly worse.

A brief preview of what you’ll see on the ‘For You’ page of X today.

• Recycled ‘right wing aesthetic’ tweets from 2021.

• Recycled viral tweets posted by people living in India or Nigeria.

• Recycled gender discourse. Every 3 months there’s another debate over the attractiveness of dad bods, the ethics of age gap relationships, and dating app screenshots. No new points are made.

• Black people asking each other questions, which often get over 20K likes. “Ya’ll ever wake up be like nah?”

• Elon retweeting his army of fanboy accounts based in India with “💯” or “Yeah”

• Political hysteria and conspiracy theories.

Elon hired Nikita to make X more of a viral dopamine loop than it already was. He’s doing his job well.

Pinpointing exactly what killed Twitter isn’t easy. There were a lot of changes and a massive influx of users from all over the world. I will go over a few factors that played a significant role.

Monetization

After Elon changed the business model, I was getting paid over $1,000 every month merely to post my thoughts. Six months later, I was demonetized with no reason given and no option to appeal. I was already posting for the love of the game for five years prior to my first payout, so I never expected to get paid. It was nice while it lasted.

But Elon isn’t just paying “pure posters” like myself. X is funding lives of luxury for people living in India and Nigeria who learned how to game the system by stealing viral tweets from Americans and posting cultural ragebait.

To address this problem, X revealed the country each account is posting from. Sadly, this wasn’t effective. Americans still get rage-baited by people in the third world every day. They don’t even bother to check.

Favoritism

Nikita is crafting the culture of X based around accounts he personally likes. He often sends huge payments to posters arbitrarily. For example, a slop account based in New Zealand posted a picture of Steve Job’s daughter that went mega-viral. The poster complained he wasn’t compensated enough, so Nikita sent him $10,000 USD. He will also send 5-figure payments to posters he likes then tell X he “wants to see more posts like this.” What he means by that is completely unclear. His preferences aren’t documented in X’s terms of service. Regardless, this incentivizes people to change what they post about, which greatly affects what people see in their For You tab.

Given Nikita’s taste, X has devolved into a hybrid of LinkedIn and a right wing version of Reddit. Nikita favors people who post with their real name and face. Given their jobs and reputations are at stake, they tend to be more “normie-friendly” than anonymous accounts who tend to be much edgier. As a result, anons are often shadowbanned. Even if they have large following and are verified with a bluecheck — their posts get little visibility. Their replies are often hidden and labeled as spam.

In addition, X has become just as censorious as Twitter was in 2020, especially for anonymous posters. Anons are getting suspended again with no reason given and no option to appeal. Given Elon’s fervent support of free speech, one might assume he would address this issue and correct it. But he hasn’t. In hindsight, I believe Elon only bought Twitter to prevent himself from getting banned.

Lastly, and most seriously — prominent anons have been doxxed without the doxxers facing any consequences. Despite this being against X’s terms of service, doxxers don’t get banned. Recently, a well-known account’s full name and address was featured at the top of X’s news tab. A few hours later, someone showed up at his house. Whether this carelessness is intentional, an oversight, or driven by AI — X is putting people’s lives at risk.

The message is loud and clear: anonymous posters are not welcome.

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Democratization

If I had to boil down Twitter’s death to one cause, it wouldn’t blame any of the specific changes listed above. I blame the people. Since opening the floodgates of free speech, there’s now more people talking to each other than ever. This isn’t necessarily a good thing. I will list a few reasons why.

Intelligence

Globally, the average IQ is ~100. That means most people can handle day-to-day tasks — but abstract reasoning, pattern-recognition, and original thinking isn’t most people’s strong suit. The average person simply isn’t very bright.

Despite seeing the 300th debate over Leonardo DiCaprio’s taste in women, most people still give their two cents. If there’s a rumor about an account or celebrity, people will gossip about it on the timeline for days. If you put 🚨BREAKING: at the start of a post, millions of people will believe it as evidence of something that actually happened.

The algorithm gives the people what they want. If originality isn’t what they want, then the algorithm won’t give it to them. If someone posts a picture of a skinny girl with a caption saying “I like it when girls are a little chubby like this” (despite being the 1,000th person to make that joke) and it gets 5,000 likes — then the algorithm will push that post to the top of the feed. The system is working as designed.

Post-COVID Desperation

The decline of X mirrors an overall decline in the quality of people. Since COVID — cool, smart, and interesting people with unique perspectives have become harder to find. The average person is more isolated, less social, and less sexually active than ever. Most people simply don’t have a life outside of the internet. Given this physical isolation, status isn’t necessarily reached through in-person achievements anymore. Status can be earned just as easily on the internet.

On X, having a lot of followers often equals high status. You will become a regular on the ‘For You’ tab regardless of if you’re just a moronic slop account.

This person is merely recycling “green polo nationalism” posts from 5 years ago. But the influx of new users from the third world don’t know that. He earned himself 1M views and probably a handsome payout. It’s never been easier to become a big account on X.

Conspiracy Brain and The Right Wing Slopfest

Politics has become such a dominant force in America that it replaced culture. The quality of TV shows and movies have plummeted because the politics of the writers are woven into the plot and the actors they hire. Art has been replaced with propaganda. Politics is at the top of most people’s minds.

The rise of endless politics, combined with traitorous government policy and lack of transparency, has birthed what can best be called conspiracy brain. Candace Owens earned herself a massive audience by making every political issue about The Jews. Tucker Carlson often entices people with conspiracy brain by boiling down political issues to aliens and demons.

In addition, since Trump won the 2024 election — “posters are in control.” The Trump administration hired right wing posters from X to post propaganda for the Department of Homeland Security and The White House’s X accounts. This created an incentive to turn otherwise intelligent posters into Trump’s personal cheerleaders in hopes of getting hired, making healthy critiques of his policies close to impossible.

The online right went from edgy and intelligent dissidents to predictable propagandists and braindead conspiracy theorists. Your options are to be slavishly pro-Trump or hysterically anti-Trump. Blanket answers to complex questions are rewarded while clear and nuanced thinking is attacked.

Most people who have been posting on Twitter for years agree that it was significantly higher quality under Jack Dorsey. The harsh limitations on free speech forced people to be more creative in how they expressed themselves. As a result, people who posted there were more clever, more interesting, and most importantly — funnier.

I’m a free speech absolutist in an abstract sense. Bad ideas must be challenged. People in prominent positions who abuse their power must be be mocked. Good ideas by intelligent minds should earn their way to the top. But as we’ve seen — that simply isn’t how it works in practice.

True meritocracy can take place when intelligent people have the right to free speech. But we simply don’t have an intelligent population, and we probably never did. There’s a reason why governments hand out bread and circus treats to distract people from more serious issues that affect their every day lives. The Pentagon posting videos of blowing up boats instead of the FBI cracking down on violent crime, for example. The people gobble it up. The rabble are easily propagandized. The average person just can’t help themselves.

The algorithm is a mirror, and that mirror can teach us a lesson. The fall of Twitter proves the world isn’t supposed to be talking to each other. There should be very high standards for who can enter the town square.

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A wise man once told me: "Walk up to every girl you're attracted to and just start talking to her." I did that for an entire summer. It was the best advice I ever received. More on that later.

Talking to women shouldn’t be a “numbers game.” That’s a concept for men who will have sex with anything. These men don’t respect themselves. They’re sloppy and have poor taste.

If you only approach girls you find intoxicatingly hot, then it’s not a numbers game. Lowering your standards is bad for your soul. Swing for the fences.

“But Med — she’s out of my league! Who am I to walk up to a 10?”

Do you hear yourself? You’re already admitting defeat.

If you get rejected — who cares? Now you have experience in getting rejected by a 10. Approaching a 9 will be less scary.

The hardest part is getting past the point when you’re nervously checking her out and racking your brain for an excuse to talk to her.

“What should I say? Should I use a pick-up line?”

One-liners aren’t my style. They’re inauthentic.

Either way, it doesn’t necessarily matter what you say.

And no — I’m not going to tell you what to say. It’s on you to figure that out. That’s the only way you’re going to develop your own style.

That’s how I figured it out.

All that matters is that you just do it.

Here’s what I learned that summer.

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A good woman is transparent. If she wants you to trust her, she will go out of her way to prove that to you. If she feels anything could get in the way of this bond, she will get ahead of it.

A good woman trusts men she admires. If she respects you, and you honor that respect, she will let you make nearly every decision for her, down to what she’s eating that day. She wants to meet a man she feels is safe to surrender to.

A good woman is pleasant. She doesn’t want to nag you because she doesn’t want to undermine you. Her presence is easy to be around.

A good woman is friends with other good women. She isn’t ignorant to the ways of how women can treat each other. She chooses her friends carefully, and may have very few.

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Bryan and I lived next door to each other since we were 5. We were inseparable. We’d climb our shared fence just to talk to each other. We’d eat dinner at each other’s homes. I was part of his family and he was part of mine.

Bryan was always a bit unstable. Something would trigger him then he would throw a fit and start hitting people. Teachers would say “Bryan snapped again.”

Bryan and I used to fight a lot. We’d be playing normally, then out of nowhere he would snap and we’d start throwing fists. Our parents had to pull us apart. This was relatively normal given boys fight in elementary school, but his temper only got worse.

One time in middle school, he found out a girl he had a crush on started dating someone else. He got up, walked away from the cafeteria table, sat alone, then started screaming and ripping out his hair. Puberty or not, that’s pretty strange behavior for a 12 year old.

We ended up going to different high schools. Bryan was gifted. Something of a math prodigy. He skipped several grades in math at a young age and got a scholarship to an expensive all-boys private school. We didn’t see each other as often, but we’d still hang out from time to time. We started smoking weed around the same time at fifteen years old.

I didn’t have fun smoking weed with him. Everyone gets a little stupid when they smoke weed, but he turned into a vegetable. He could barely speak. When he tried, it was gibberish. He just wasn’t there. By the time he graduated, he was high 24/7. I started to hang out with him less.

He and I went to different colleges. After he first came home to visit, he told me he was gay. This was surprising, given we frequently talked about girls and he had several girlfriends. It was also strange given he was my best friend. We used to have sleepovers together.

I said “Okay. That’s fine. Just don’t hit on me or anything.” I was half-joking. I hoped he understood what I was saying, which was “Don’t make it weird.” Instead, he took it as a challenge.

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I’ve had every reason to grow bitter. I’ve been misled, lied to, and betrayed too many times to count. A purely logical person might have walked away from love altogether, deciding the cost of love was much too high. But the heart is not logical. The heights of love can outweigh even the deepest pain. I am, for better or for worse, a romantic.

As best I could, I tried to assess what went wrong in each relationship. I noticed patterns in my own behavior; how I created issues out of nowhere, criticized harshly, or acted controlling out of fear. I noticed my words greatly affect how women responded to me. I stopped calling my exes “crazy.”

Through experience, I realized beneath all differences in personality, women share a common emotional language. Above all — women need to feel safe. They need to feel beautiful. They need to feel sexually and romantically wanted. When these basic needs are met, they become pleasant to be around. I find this very endearing.

Understanding this distinction, while embracing my role as the man, made relationships easier. Similarly, I started to separate my masculinity from my personality. This only deepened my grasp of female instincts.

Masculine and feminine polarity is complementary. The stronger it is, the more intense the sexual and romantic attraction.

Here are my favorite Twitter posts on this topic from the last six years.

Enjoy 🤍

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